January 16, 2007

My Golden Globe Picks, Part Three


Vanessa Minnillo. Worst use of color all evening. Burnt orange. Sequins. Aqua Net hair. Gag. Whoever told "starlets" that blowing a fake kiss is sexy should be forced to wear this creation for all eternity.

Cameron Diaz. I’m not sure what’s worse - - the twenty pounds of makeup clogging the life out of her skin or the atrocious “look at me” get up she has on. Transvestites everywhere are crying and Justin Timberlake is heaving a sigh of relief.

Beyonce. I think I had a Tiffany doll back in the 70s that wore nearly this exact creation. It was craptastic then, it’s craptastic now.

Rinko Kukichi. Two ways to get people to remember you - - wear something more appropriate in a Doris Day slumber party movie and look like a hot mess while doing it.

Vanessa Williams. Did the animal who gave its life for that wrap put up a fight and die in Van's hair? From the hair, to the jacket to the dress, it's just an unexplainable mess.

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