January 14, 2007


For nearly two years, magazines, talk shows and bloggers alike have had no shortage of jokes, rumors, innuendo and stories thanks to TomKat. Whether they be unfounded, unspecific, true or false, the Wee One and his future ex-wife have never failed to entertain and keep the public interested.
I woke out of a semi-deep sleep wondering: Where Would Katie Be? If she had never met up with Tiny Tom, that is. What if she had never met him, back in 2005, gone underground for two weeks and reemerged as his new amour - - a publicist's wet dream?
I think she would have continued working, certainly. I am the first to admit that I have never found Queen Katie to be a particularly talented actress. I lump her in that category of "young starlets" who are on shows like Laguna Beach or The O.C. They look good, and they can play a particular part. Queen Katie had just had her first sure-to-be blockbuster, in Batman Begins. And while saying she was the weakest link of the film would be an understatement of massive proportions (she totally sucked ass, okay?), she did "act" in a big budget film, with co-stars like Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and Christian Bale. Her role in Thank You for Smoking was little more than a cameo; I guess that Mischa Barton wasn't available. But still, her name was attached to a critically well received film.
She had been in New York, reportedly before getting the call from Cruise. I would hope that she wouldn't have attempted stage acting, since she has failed miserably in the last year or so to prove on a public stage (the world) to be a convincing actress (that she's amazingly in love with the rotund Romeo). Perhaps, if not for the Cruise interception, she would have gone back to school? Perhaps she would have taken some acting courses that would have enabled her to stand on her own against Caine, Bale, Freeman and Aaron Eckhardt (or at least not look so out of her league).
Had she not met Cruise, the odds are that she would not have had a baby out of wedlock. She would not have dismissed her former business associates and friends with nary a phone call. She would not have abandoned her religious upbringing and alienated her family, to publicly embrace a controversial organization like the Church of Scientology.
So why did Queen Katie do it? Why destroy her years of labor in the industry, destroy her established friends and effectively smash to pieces her "good girl next door" image, just to sign a contract with a toothy performer with a healthy bank account?
She had broken a five year relationship a month prior to meeting Cruise. She had just moved from L.A. to New York. She was obviously entering a new phase in her life and she was probably terrified. Terrified and elated. When Cruise and his people (because there is no way that the Wee One organized this himself) swept in, his future ex-wife was vulnerable. Vulnerable and opportunistic. Let's face it. She was twenty-six years old and had been in the business for ten years. In Hollywood, thirty is starting to go over the hill. The Wee One's previous wife, Nicole Kidman, was a major star by twenty-two. Queen Katie probably heard her celeb clock ticking when the Wee One made her an offer that looked failsafe. Pretend to be his girlfriend/fiancee/wife, pop out a kid or two (after all, what's one or two eggs when you have so many?) and in exchange not only will Queen Katie have a nice big paycheck, she will receive all the benefits of being Mrs. Cruise. And, oh yeah, did we mention that you have to publicly endorse Scientology as well?
That failsafe plan turned into a ticking time bomb, with Tiny Tom holding the match. It was too much, too soon with regards to their relationship. The general public was already shaky on the validity of their amazing love, when Tiny, in a month's time, went from giddy teenager on Oprah to a quick-to-temper, intolerant judgmentalist with Matt Lauer. A much publicized pregnancy followed; a pregnancy that seemed interminable, along with their engagement. Rumors of rifts, along with splits from her family followed, as well as a hiding of the child she allegedly bore in Scientology silence. Queen Katie hasn't helped her own situation. Other than a few inarticulate words she spoke to the obviously adoring Jane Sarkin from Vanity Fair, the only official interview she's given since the birth of TomKat was a frightening brainwashed piece for W. Her continued drab and dishelved appearance, even since their nuptials in Italy, has not helped matters.
So, in the end . . . would Katie have been better off, minus Cruise, and maybe staying a C-list, at best, television actress, waiting for The Surreal Life or some other teen drama? Or will she come out of this relatively unscathed? Minus a child or two, who will certainly go to Cruise when the couple split, but with an engorged bank account and Cruise to pull some professional strings for her?
Don't forget, it's in your contract to hold my hand!

No comments: