February 19, 2007

Freaks in Smallville

The triangle of Season 6 . . . what's a girl to do?

So last Thursday's Smallville episode continued to be pleasantly Lois-free. The action started at the Smallville Lanes, where Lana was hosting her bachelorette party, with a single guest, Chloe. Because Chloe is her best friend. Unfortunately, Chloe appears to be Lana's only friend, since she doesn't hang with anyone else. So I'm not sure what was more depressing - - Lana's bachelorette party taking place at a bowling alley, or that she is actually going to marry Lex.
So anyway, it turns out that a kid that works at the bowling alley has telekinetic powers because this is Smallville, after all, and what kind of loser living in Smallville doesn't have some sort of power? Chloe, being the super-duper investigative reporter and all figures out that the kid has powers (because of some other kid who apparently was blinded by the meteor storm and can detect the Meteor Freaks when he takes off his shades) and excuses herself from the super-duper exciting bachelorette party to step outside and get air, and is rewarded by witnessing the kid being abducted full-on by the Men in Black. Then, of course, Chloe pulls an only-on-t.v., stupid chick move by shouting "hey! Stop that!" rather than speed dialing Clark on her Razr phone to say "There's trouble. Bowling alley. Now!" and Clark would have been there in like a negative ten seconds. But then I guess the episode would have ended and we haven't even hit our first commercial break.
Turns out that the Men in Black are in cahoots with Lex (what a shocker) to follow the Meteor Freaks around Smallville, after kidnapping them and implanting a GM On-Star-like tracking device in them. Again, they could probably save a lot of time and potential felony charges by just picking random Smallville citizens since seemingly everyone in town has a freaky secret, but whatever.
Things get interesting when Chloe is the next kidnap victim - - turns out she's a Meteor Freak and who knew! Clark doesn't save her from being implanted with the tracking device, but does use his x-ray vision to detect it, and his laser-vision to burn out out of her shoulder (thank goodness it wasn't in her head or some other extremely sensitive region). Jimmy returns to the fray and he and Chloe patch things up.
So the crooked doctor working with Lex ends up shot by the end, after Clark intervenes and saves Lana, yet once again. However, Lana's suspicions continue to mount after finding the deflected bullet . . . but she goes right back into dense chick mode once she gets around Lex. Ugh.
So apparently she is going to marry Lex. And Chloe thinks the only way that Clark can put Lana behind him once and for all is to attend the wedding. Yeah, right. Why don't you drive a stake through your heart at the same time? Right, because he's Superman. Well, why don't you swallow a pound of kryptonite then because that makes as much sense as attending the wedding of the girl you are still in love with but too stupid to get back. Where the hell is Martha? And Lionel? And Krypton the dog, who is called something else but Krypton is far cooler?
Regardless, obviously Chloe has some super-duper powers that haven't surfaced yet. What could they be? Maybe she can fuse the backbone that Lana lost once she started boinking Lex back into her body? Or at least help her regenerate her brain, which has been MIA all season.
I still think that if Clark isn't going to be with Lana, he really needs to consider Chloe. Chloe has been there from the start. Chloe is smart, cute, funny and understands Clark. She doesn't mind that he wears about 100 red jackets and blue shirts. Chloe is the coolest chick in Smallville.
The intrepid, doting reporter? or Man of Steel?

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