March 29, 2007

Bye Bye Sligh

There were ten. Now there are nine. And who would have guessed it weeks ago, but Sanjaya continues to live and Haley continues to hold on.
This week there was no apparent theme on Idol. No, seriously, I think the theme was "Gwen Stefani's Inspirations" since Ms. S. was the guest mentor/coach. As much as I like Ms. S. as a celebrity mom, and think she's super cute and, let me just say, she has the most amazing skin and she looks even better without the red, red, red lipstick, she totally sucked at being a mentor. Nodding your head, smiling or frowning do not count as constructive criticism. What you told the Idol cameraman, after hearing each contestant sing, now that counts as constructive criticism. But after the fact it's about as useful as a pair of Floaties on the Titanic.
So LaKisha got the craptastic first spot, and got her Donna Summer on with "Last Dance". I actually liked her and was happy to finally see and hear her do something besides those tired ballads and torch songs. I knew Sligh was in trouble when he chose a Police song and he was seriously off timing wise with "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic". Ouch. Gina, in my opinion, gave the best performance of the night with a totally awesome version of the Pretenders' "I'll Stand By You". Even Simon gave her five stars and proclaimed it her best performance. Fortunately she only got judged on her voice because her outfit was seriously misguided. Phil also decided to choose the Police (yikes) but turned in a fabulous performance of the classic stalker anthem "Every Breath You Take". Blake chose The Cure, which I loved, but I, sadly, did not love his version of "Love Song". Sigh. I wanted too, very badly. But I did like his 90s-inspired outfit. Haley continued her bid for the most forgettable Top 10 to ever grace the Idol stage with a snooze-inducing version of Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors". Why would she pick this song? She would have done better with "She Bop", a fun bouncy song that probably would have shown Haley off much better. Girlfriend had better step it up if she wants to last past next week. Sanjaya stunned all by appearing as some sort of sexually ambivalent rooster on crack. That faux hawk has been permanently seared on my brain and if I saw Sanjaya walking down the street in that get up, I would run screaming. He attempted "Bathwater" by No Doubt and either the hair scared me so badly that my ears ceased to function, or I have become numb to Sanjaya's singing, or he actually didn't do too badly, but it wasn't a hot mess, on par with his usual performance. Melinda was as great and as awesome and as boring as ever. She chose probably the dullest disco song EVER - - Donna Summer's "Heaven Knows". Heaven knows that Melinda is talented and can run rings around the other Idol contestants, but holy crap, is she boring. Jordin sang "Hey Baby" and although it wasn't her best performance, she deserves props for being the most versatile and attempting to kick it up every week. She is so cute, I really hope she makes the final three, at least. After being tossed in the Bottom Two last week, Chris R. gets the major pimp daddy spot and gets to performance last. I didn't hate him, but I didn't love him either. Another No Doubt song, this time "Don't Speak".
Sligh's exit shouldn't have surprised anyone. His performance was by far the weakest of the night. Haley shared the Bottom Two spot with him, which probably means that next week, she'll be safe and Gina might better watch her back. Hey, it's possible. When Ryan paused on her name, girlfriend seriously looked like she was going to hack up a lung.
Good of the night: Jordin, always. She is cute, she has tons of personality and she's not afraid to try something new. Chris R.,attired in western gear, for the Ford pimpomercial. Hot. Gina, making the perfect song selection, not giving in to that part of her that wants to scream everything, and turning in the best performance of the night.
Bad of the night: Sligh. Disappointing. Haley. Zzzzzz. Sanjaya. No matter how bad, he's not going anywhere.
Next week is Tony Bennett. Who will have a hard time? Obviously, Sanjaya, although it won't matter. I'm thinking too that Gina may falter, and now that we're down to the top 9, no one can afford to have a bad night.

This image will haunt my nightmares

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