April 4, 2007

American Idol: Top 9 Sing, Judges Gripe and Moan


Were all the judges suffering from PMS last night? Did Paula share her Kool Aid? Seriously, people - - this is your job. You show up on Tuesday night to listen to people sing for an hour and give your supposedly honest opinion. You show up for half an hour on Wednesday night to listen to the week's guest mentor perform, and listen to the results. Whoa, what a tough schedule. You have permission to bitch and moan when you're working a 40 hour week.
Anyway . . . it was "Standards" week and Tony Bennett was the guest mentor.

I thought the judges were on some mean crack last night. I thought they were unnecessarily harsh to Phil, who they obviously believe should be sent home. I think Phil sounded pretty good, and if Tony Bennett says you have the best voice he’s heard in a while, something is there, regardless of what Randy, Paula and Simon think. I highly disagree with Simon’s comments about Phil’s song being worthy of a funeral. Maybe Simon drank some of Paula’s Kool Aid. Melinda definitely has the best voice overall, but she’s boooooooor-ring to me. Girlfriend seriously needs to ix-nay the “who, me?” expression. She’s a professional backup singer, she knows she can sing and she’s been getting a tongue bath from the trio of judges for weeks. There is down to earth and humble, and then there’s annoying and she is dangerously treading into annoying territory. LaKisha has a good voice, but I always feel like she’s oddly disconnected from what’s going on. It’s like she’s coming to work, doing her job and leaving. She needs to show a little excitement up there. And she really should start listening to (and taking) the guest mentor/coach’s advice. She’s been given good advice from Diana “Miss Ross” Ross, Lulu (who really should be a permanent part of AI) and Tony Bennett and she’s neglected each. If she doesn’t watch it, she’s going to pay for that. As a sidenote, I think her boobs are bigger than Ryan’s head. Gina surprised me, as I thought she would commit the professional equivalent of barfing up a lung and crapping her pants onstage, with the standards. I was pleasantly surprised, although her singing was no match for boooooooor-ring Melinda or the amazingly cute Jordin. I think she had four pounds of makeup on, I think it would be much easier for her to sing if she removed that tongue ring and I really think she needs to quit shopping at Hot Topic for her stage clothes. Haley looked like she was about to go onstage at Carnival Cruises. She is a very pretty girl, although I think that green dress did a huge disservice to her cleavage. But yes, she’s a pretty girl - - so, ATTENTION RANDY, PAULA AND SIMON: judge her on her singing, not her looks. This isn’t Miss America. She can handle honest criticism. Her singing wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t great either. Jordin continues to amaze every week. Girl is seriously only 17!! I think she has the best versatility of anyone onstage - - she isn’t afraid to try something different each week and while that can be dangerous, I think it’s paid off for her. Simon is smoking dope if he thinks she sounds old (she IS singing a standard, after all). She doesn’t sound any older than borderline-cabaret leaning Melinda. She could be the dark horse in the AI race. Blake is cute in that dangerous kind of way and he has successfully parlayed a fabulous, onstage personality into talent. I liked his version of Mack the Knife, but he did go first and that’s usually a dangerous spot to be in. He could possibly wind up in the bottom 3 and, if so, will recharge his fearful fans next week and probably land him in the pimp daddy spot of being the last singer. Chris, I want to like and yet he reminds me of Kevin Federline. However, he seems like a nice guy and although his voice isn’t spectacular, the judges fell over themselves with glee over what they termed his best performance. He should be safe. Sanjaya. What to say? He should be the one to go home, as he didn’t give a terrible performance, but he’s consistently proven that he has the weakest vocal range of anyone there. I do admire him for getting out there every week and continuing to try - - he’s in a very unenviable position - - and he definitely keeps things interesting. The judges’ tactics of not even commenting on his vocals is childish and rude though. They could give him some honest advice that doesn’t need to be mean, while avoiding the fact that he’s still in this competition because of Vote for the Worst, etc. Further, they have nobody to blame but themselves. They chose him. They advanced him. Now they’re pissed because he’s still around? Get over it.
Definitely safe: Melinda (duh)
Possible bottom 3: Phil (yikes), Haley, Gina
Should go: Sanjaya
Will go: Haley

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