May 4, 2007

Jada Says Katie Ain't no Wussy P*ssy

The Cruises really are so predictable, aren't they? Despite their attempts to the contrary, via the steakhouse dinners and the jaunt to Vegas to pal around with new BFF Brooke Shields, the rumor mill is still insinuating that Katie is unhappy, Katie is a prisoner of her husband and Katie is flirting with her co-star on the set of her new movie. Xenu forbid that the amazing Tom Cruise has anything but a radiantly happy marriage and a magnificent bride, so Master Cruise sent new favorite mouthpiece Jada Pinkett Smith to give People an "exclusive", i.e., written and proofed by Tom, interview. And what an interview. Really, did anyone know how uneducated Jada seems? "Tom don't run that house!" What a brilliant PR move for the Scientology-endorsed educational system the Smiths and the Cruises use for their children. Jada repeats over and over again, hitting us with the same hammer that Master Cruise loves to use, how "normal" of a couple Tom and Katie are. Katie greets you at the door and offers to feed you. They take turns feeding Suri. Their favorite activity is family movie night, where they make an "amazing" chocolate popcorn. Of course they do. Is anything this couple does short of amazing? Did Jada meet with Jane Sorkin of Vanity Fair before giving this interview? It is infested with the same pink, poofy, fluffy fairytale that the Vanity Fair article was coated with.
Anyhow, Jada blabs on and on about what good friends the Cruises are, and how they have "tons" of friends, both Scientologists and non-Scientologists, which I find humorous to the extreme. Exactly who do we see the Cruises with (other than Jada and Will and Brooke, as of late)? Nobody. I seriously doubt they have many friends and those they do have are strictly Sci. Perhaps the funniest comment Jada makes during this entire rant is that "Kate ain't no wimpy little kitty cat". Yes, she really did say that. She also claims that "Kate" is a "tigress". Please tell me that I'm not the only one who thinks that only boyfriends or husbands are the ones that call women "tigresses".
Jada also claims that Katie has a "quiet thunder", and a thunder that people are attracted to. Yeah. People are also strangely attracted to sociopaths and psychopaths so what does that prove?
Jada also claims that at the end of the day, their relationship is really no one's business. Really? So why are you mouthing off to People then? If their relationship is no one's business, then shut it.
It's really mindblowing that Master Cruise, with twenty plus years in the entertainment biz, is so shortsighted (pun fully intended) when it comes to his own PR. Overkill seems to be the name of the game. It's not enough to say "I'm happy, period." Why settle for subtle when you can go for saturation? You would think Master Cruise, king of control, would understand the subtle nuances of media manipulation. But he has proven time and again that when left to his own devices, he utterly destroys any progress that Bloch, et al. have made.
If he and his 'Bot are so happy, why the need to defend, defend, defend?
And what's with Jada being the new spokesho? Did they fire Leah Remini?

No comments: