Paris is a Douche

After days spent crying and even bringing out the big guns (her dogs) for sympathy ploys, Paris has resorted to the granddaddy of sympathies - - the psych out. If you don't know what this is, check out Simon Cowell's critiques of Sanjaya this season. Despite pleading to Arnold for leniency, and even having her loudmouthed mother Kathy (who really should also be jailed for subjecting the world to Paris in the first place) squawk about how unfair it is that Paris should actually have to abide by the rules, the Airheaded Heiress is now saying that she's ready to face the consequences of her actions. Of course she's stating this through her new attorney, who is obviously hungry for money, punishment or both. The neurologically-challenged celebutard stated:

"After reading the media's coverage of my court hearing, I feel the need to
correct what I believe are misperceptions about me."

Wow, the first sentence and I'm already calling B.S. We all know Paris doesn't read (she admitted in court she doesn't read documents, she just signs them) and we all know there are no "misperceptions" about her out there. She's a spoiled, stupid ho! Simple.

"I am ready to face the consequences of violating probation."

Translated: If I tell you I'm really, really sorry for what I did, can we pretend it didn't happen?

"No one is above the law. I surely am not. I do not expect to be treated better
than anyone else who violated probation. However, my hope is that I will not be
treated worse."

Translated: Oh boo hoo, it's so hard to be me! Don't hate me because I'm rich.

Even if L.A. County has to kick an inmate out or two to jail Paris, I'm all for it. The dumb ho needs to see what it's like to wear a prison jumpsuit (Chanel doesn't make them, Paris) and actually scrub out a toilet. Heck, I'd pay money to see Paris behind bars. Maybe the jail can charge for admission and with the massive proceeds I'm sure they would make, build a new jail so celebrity offenders don't get tossed after two hours due to overcrowding (I'm talking to you, Michelle Rodriguez).
JAIL PARIS! JAIL PARIS! JAIL PARIS!