
August 28, 2007
Ali Lohan is Just Like Her Sister

Missing Cruise Children Explained

Scott Baio Gets Picked Up

August 27, 2007
Katie Holmes: Spoiled, Insufferable Snot?

To jump on the bandwagon, Janet Charlton appears to be hot on the trail of Katie Holmes. Says Ms. Charlton:
This behavior does not surprise me at all. Didn't those measly little airline patrons know who Mrs. Mini-Messiah was? Don't they know how exhausting her shopping, posing, shopping, shopping, shopping schedule is? Shopping is much, much harder work than work, people. Anywho, I'm curious to know if Katie was always such a spoiled, indulgent little twit or if being married to the Jesus Christ of Scientology has made her that way. (Although Nicole Kidman was never accused of being downright rude). Perhaps it's Scientology - - the courses are working and Katie now has an inflated sense of self-importance. After all, that describes her diminutive husband to a "T".Katie Holmes flew back (from Germany) via London on a British Airways first
class flight alone recently, and she didn't make any friends on board,
according to another passenger. An hour after take-off the flight attendant
advised passengers to close their windows so people who wanted to, could
sleep. Everyone in first class closed their windows, but Katie refused for
some reason. Hers was the only window with light glaring in and other
travelers were annoyed. When the plane was a few hours outside Los Angeles
and most fliers were awake, Katie decided SHE wanted to nap and asked the
flight attendant to ask people to close their windows. Her fellow travelers
were so irritated by her lack of cooperation earlier that they REBELLED and
deliberately refused to close. This isn't typical behavior for Katie - she's
always been sweet and thoughtful. Was she distracted and oblivious of
others? Or has her marriage changed her?
Speaking of Ms. Holmes-Cruise, the latest little tidbit to offset the ever-forthcoming Andrew Morton biography on her hubby is that Tommy Boy and Katie share separate bedrooms. For those of us pessimists who doubt the validity of THE GREATEST ROMANCE EVAH this is not surprising news. Heck, I doubt they have ever shared the same wing of their house, much less a bedroom. Allegedly, the pair had their own bedrooms, in separate wings of the Crazy Cruise Compound when the duo began "dating" because with Katie being a good little Catholic girl, it just wouldn't be right. Riiiiiight. If Katie were such a good little Catholic girl, she wouldn't have dated, much less married, a man who had been divorced twice and she wouldn't have turned her back on Catholicism for the crackpot wizardry of Scientology. Besides, isn't the whole point of living together to be sharing a bedroom? Otherwise, aren't you just roommates?
But I digress. The same "source" who provided the press with this ridiculous tall tale also made sure to emphasize that even though Tommy Boy and Katie were occupying separate bedrooms while "dating", Suri was conceived the old-fashioned way. Yep, another blatant black mark against such a good little Catholic girl. Most good little Catholic girls don't get pregnant outside of marriage - - and if they do, they usually marry before the child is born. Whoops, Katie.
So, fast forward to today and apparently the still newly-wed Cruises are sleeping in separate spaces, with the excuse being that Tommy Boy is a noisy snorer and Katie needs her beauty sleep. Now that's rich. Because if they are sleeping apart so Katie can get her beauty sleep, girlfriend needs more than just the standard 8 hours. She needs maybe 800 hours. Has she slept since this farce began? Are under eye bags the new pink?
As if this isn't enough, we are also informed that Katie has decorated her master bedroom in pretty pastel shades, with a carousel and plenty of stuffed animals.
For real. We are talking about a married woman - - at least in name, only. She is nearly 30, and she does have a child. Camp Cruise has been desperate to age Katie - - hence the matronly outfits, the chopping of her hair - - so that the age difference between her and Tommy Boy doesn't seem so great . . . and yet, they go and allow someone to "leak" this story? Carousel? Stuffed animals? Where is the mention about the damn cupcakes? Are they sure they weren't describing Tommy Boy's room by mistake?
August 25, 2007
All is Good with Dina

August 24, 2007
Who Knew Jamie Foxx Was So Stupid?

Seriously. Does anyone other than this mentally-challenged nitwit think that the Michael Vick case is racially motivated? I would laugh except I think JF is being sincere - - in his dumbass way - - along with helping to perpetuate the myth that every black celebrity being charged with a felony is being railroaded. Bitch, please.
JF claims that dogfighting is a “cultural” thing and that “most brothers didn’t know” that it’s against the law (and morally offensive). Further, he thinks that Vick “just didn’t read his handbook on what not to do as a black star”. A-ha! So there are books on that? Is there a chapter on “If you are a black star, do not fight/mutilate/murder animals”? Heck, you would think one of Michael Vick’s good buddies would have given him that book.
This statement just proves how really dumb Jamie Foxx is. Last time I checked, black stars were held up to the same legal standards as white ones (unless you are O.J. Simpson and you’ve just stabbed two people to death). Is JF saying that if Brad Pitt had been in the dogfighting business, there would be a different set of rules? And should Brad Pitt have the handbook on what not to do as a white star?
Furthermore, Michael Vick isn’t from the hood. Okay, well, he’s from Newport News, but he got out. He went to Virginia Tech, which is a good school. He got educated. We’re not talking about this case like he was running some dogfighting business out of someone’s crappy garage. The man bought a property out in a less populated county of Virginia, specifically to breed and fight dogs. So, clearly, although the man is a violent, sociopathic dickwad, he’s not totally stupid.
When will celebrities learn that they really are better off keeping their mouths shut? Just because you played an intelligent person on t.v. or in the movies doesn’t make you one. (Are you listening, Tom Cruise?) Maybe celebrities should have “no comment” tattooed on their hands so they can remember that’s generally the best answer ever.
August 23, 2007
Lohan Gets a Get Out of Jail Free Card


(C)Rock of Love

I am hanging my head in shame, even as I write this. I, who freely admits that I watch Scott "45 and a Fuckwit" Baio's show, and have a strange addiction with Michael Landon shows (and yes, that includes "Little House on the Prairie"), have become addicted to Bret Michaels' foray into the reality forum - - VH1's "Rock of Love". The premise is simple. BM supposedly is looking for love, and hopes that VH1 producers have somehow managed to find that one special lady in the 20 or so women they have tapped to compete on the show, to accept his aging hand and a place on the Poison tour bus. What makes this show so much more of a guilty pleasure than "The Bachelor" and its spin-offs is that the women are heavily made up of strippers, porn wanna-bes and fledgling musicians with boil-a-bunny tendencies. All of whom must compete in challenges to win either a solo or group date with Bret, in the hopes that they can spend time with him and stay on for at least another week. And the challenges run the gamut from dirtbike riding to muddy football to being able to change into sleazy rockstar girlfriend clothes in a dirty Port-A-Potty. Sounds glamorous, doesn't it?
The show has its resident slut - - Heather, who can't keep her clothes on to save her life and is currently in the fifth year of her five year plan on working as a stripper. She's the oldest 32 year old I have possibly ever seen (only beating Tom Cruise's future ex-wife because she's only 29) with a predilection for huge, Aqua Net endorsed hair and 1970s attire that Cher would have loved. Then there's Lacey, every inch Heather's equal as far as diabolical plotting goes, but far outweighs Heather in the crazy factor. Lacey sports a magenta streak through her hair, and a pierced lip and continues to baffle the audience (at least at my house) every week with her continued invite to stay. She claims to be a musician and I think everyone but Bret knows that it's only a matter of time before Lacey sets the tour bus on fire or attacks Bret in his sleep.
There's Brandi, who is not shy about burping, farting, drinking, being a tomboy or the fact that she will sleep with women (although not marry one). She seems like a good match for Bret, with the exception of recent porn-like pictures that have surfaced on the internet. Jes is a hairdresser from Chicago who has a bright pink streak through her hair and genuinely seems to have made the most sincere and honest connection with Bret. However, she is very young and that may work against her. Sam is a very emotional, very needy, person who seems to have fallen in love with Bret, but she is very obviously not cut out for the rock star lifestyle. And then there's Mia. Mia is easy to forget about because she tends to blend into the background. It's still a mystery why Bret has kept Mia in his entourage of party girls, but could it be because she might be the dark horse?
I'm thinking it's more likely that none of these women will ride off into the sunset on the tour bus.
August 16, 2007
O.J. Simpson is a Tool

The Better Photoshop?
Criss Angel Will Eff Anything

Source: DListed
First, it's Butter Face Cameron Diaz. Then it's Coke Ho Lohan, before the car chase and yet another rehab. Now, word on the street - - well, gossip sites - - say that the Mindfreak is "canoodling" with Britney Spears.
What is up with Mr. Angel? Is there any celebrity he won't do? How long before we hear tales of him "canoodling" with Paris Hilton?
Seriously, though, I give this "relationship" about the lifespan of Brit's "relationship" with her bodyguard and with the college guy in the pool. A guy can only handle so many Cheetos.
August 2, 2007
TomKat Goes to Berlin . . . and All They Do is Walk Around a Muddy Field

