September 26, 2007

Male Population of the Earth Beware

Photo Source: DListed

Rumor has it that Lohan is busting out of rehab this weekend. Since we all know that Lohan's coochie has never met a penis it hasn't liked, or at least wanted to invite in, this is a fair warning to all you of the non-fairer sex.

Surprisingly enough, Lohan has been in rehab in Utah since the first week of August. Not surprisingly, tales have sprung up about rehab drinking, rehab drugging and plenty of rehab sex. The most recent tale has Lohan as the wanton hussy breaking up a happy marriage. Dead Stays Alive (yeah, I never heard of them either) frontman Tony Allen's wife has filed for divorce, claiming that Mr. Allen was less than faithful while staying in the same rehab facility as Lohan and attaching the many press clippings and internet reports of his rendezvous with Lohan as supporting documentation that he was sharing the wealth. Here's where it gets interesting. Apparently Mrs. Tony Allen is some type of heiress - - her father manufactured MacDonald's burger boxes. So a huge fortune is at stake in this sure-to-be messy divorce, with Lohan in the middle. Shocker, I know.

Allen, of course, has claimed to his wife that he and Lohan are just "great friends". Meaning that his penis has seen the inside of her kitty.

To his friends, allegedly, Allen claimed that of course he slept with Lohan. Hmmm, bang a starlet whose vajayjay you could probably land one of John Travolta's planes in, or keep the goods in check and stay with your heiress wife. Seems like Tony Allen got hit with the stupid stick and hard.

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