November 9, 2007

I Want Proof


And I'm talking about authenticated video and sworn statements from race officials.

With Little Lord Tommy Boy's "please love me again" movie Lions for Lambs coming out today, the Cruise Camp's PR has been into overdrive. Nicely (some may say, coincidentally) coinciding with the film's New York premiere last weekend, the Holmesbot allegedly ran in the New York Marathon. I say allegedly because, as with everything else about the Cruis-azies, her participation in the Marathon is shrouded in controversy and questions.

Allegedly, Tommy Boy's beard registered for the race under an alias, in order to avoid publicity. Despite the fact that these two have been whoring out the story all week. But we all know that "hypocrite" is a Cruise trait. I wonder how the Holmesbot managed to do this. Don't you need identification? Do they let just anyone in? And what about the stories I hear of people on wait lists for years, waiting to run in the Marathon? And the fashion-challenged Mrs. Cruise in name only can just jump right in?

Supposedly no one knew that the most famous robot in the world was running in the race until towards the end, when Little Lord Tommy Boy had to jump out and kiss his puppet. Which happened oh-so-fortunately in front of a race official, who made it a top priority to run off and have Runner F127's name changed from the supposed alias of Katie Smith (what an original bunch) to Katie Stockholmes.

Do they really expect us to buy this? Aren't the race officials busy with other things, besides changing people's names? Do they really care?

But that's not all. Because Holmesbot was out in public and surrounded by all kinds of wogs and thetans, and Tommy Boy wouldn't want her to make a break for it, she had to "run" with her minder. Now, each runner is giving a chip so that at certain checkpoints, their time is registered. This, I imagine, is to prevent people from popping up at the end of the race and declaring themselves a winner. When checking the Holmesbot's time, at NINE different checkpoints, she and her minder had the EXACT same time. How is that possible, unless the minder carried the Holmesbot through these checkpoints?

And more controversy still. How can the Holmesbot look like the below picture on random outings with our favorite leprechaun, and yet look as she did after supposedly completing a 26.2 mile run? Without benefit of a sports bra?




I'm calling a hoax on this entire thing and I challenge the New York Times to investigate this. I bet you this was nothing more than a ridiculous publicity stunt to draw attention to the Queen of Scientology, just in time for his new movie.

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