In what surely must be one of the more shortsighted moves of the year, Scott Baio married his baby momma, Renee Sloan, this past weekend in Los Angeles. When I say shortsighted I mean on his part - - I think Renee is clever enough to know that having his offspring and a certified marriage license will set her for the rest of her life. But what on earth was he thinking? This is the same guy who told People magazine a few months ago “My parents were married 53 years, good and bad. Can I do that? Probably not. But I really hope I can. I don’t know, 53 years with the same human being? I can’t be around myself for more than three or four hours before I want to kill everybody.”
Hmmmm, I may not be the quickest person around but that doesn't sound so promising to me. Making a lifetime commitment to another human being when you can't stand yourself for more than a few hours? And exactly how do you keep from being around yourself? The questions mount.
People reported that Renee's daughter from a previous relationship was in attendance, as well as the newborn daughter of the couple, whose name has yet to be reported. I'm guessing that Scott and Renee are still trying to find one name of a girl he hasn't boinked. Good luck with that. No word on whether or not a divorce attorney was in attendance, although I certainly hope Scott has one on speed dial.
Viewers of Scott's VH-1 reality t.v. show will be happy to know that the wedding was filmed as part of next season's "Scott Baio is 45 . . . and Single" (a title which will surely be changed since Baio is now 46 and married). And yes, I watched the show last season. And yes, I will probably watch the stupid thing next season.
I decided to give the happy couple two years because I'm feeling overly optimistic today. If I was my usual pessimistic, black hearted self, I would say they have a snowball's chance in hell of lasting a year.