Oh wait, Katie Holmes was born in 1978, not 1938? Surely could have fooled me. These days girlfriend is looking more like Tommy Boy's mother than his hired-hand wife.
Here is the "magical" couple, out the other night at their usual haunt, Cut. Suri the Magical Tot was a no-show but Katie brought out her spectacularly fucked self. Unwashed, unstyled hair. Wan, ghastly complexion. Dark circles under the eyes. Vacant stare. Gripping the Mighty Midget's hand, or being gripped by his hand. I suppose things are they should be in Xenu's world. Katie did change it up a bit by pinning a bizarre looking set of eyes on her jacket. Is this the Scientology equivalent of Big Brother watching? Is it code? Does she have a hidden microphone or camera in there? I don't know, but it's freaking me out.
Not ones to hog all the cameras or attention for themselves (I swear, my nose is growing as I type this), the Cruise-azies brought along new BFFs and Xenu recruits, the Pinkett-Smiths (because let's be honest, we all know that Jada wears the pants in THAT family). The Pinkett-Smiths got the memo about dressing all in black but Will jazzed it up by donning a sparkly t that read "Party Starter". Heh. I'm sure Tommy Boy was dreaming all night about getting Will's party started. While Katie was dreaming all night about those magical LRH-laced cupcakes that keep her dumb and compliant and Jada was dreaming about the newly single Pink.