April 2, 2008

Better Late than Never

Yeah, I know, this post is a week late. But it's my blog, so get over it.

This episode belonged to David Cook and Michael Johns. They rocked the house and put everyone else to shame. I am officially their bitch.
Ramiele . . . why is she still in this competition? I like her, she's cute and she has a voice but she doesn't seem to want to use it. Not only does she get the craptastic first slot, not only does she not even attempt some white boy moves a la Tommy Boy and stands there like a lawn gnome, but she does a horrendous job with Heart's "Alone" (a song I love, BTW). I understand that she's been sick but hey, it's a singing competition. I know she has shown promise and I think she can do much, much better but each week's performance has to be judged on that week and that week alone - - not what the contestant has done in the past or might do. Weakest performance of the night, IMO, and she should have been on the seal with the B3, if not sent home entirely.
David A. is definitely venturing into pageant territory for me. His song choice was really no different than Kristy's - - sing a song with a message and the public will love you, right? Not so much. Simon was right - - ghastly theme park and where were the people wearing animal suits? If it weren't for the hysterical tween girls that are probably speed dialing for 2 hours straight, David might be in trouble.
Chikezie has a great voice, but his song choice was really terrible. He is so entertaining when he's on stage and has an upbeat song and this really did nothing for him. Shame.
Syesha has a good voice but she is like the Ice Queen for me. She and Carly both. Absolutely no warmth comes thru their performances at all. Did Syesha deserve to be on the seal? Probably not. Ramiele should have been there in her place. Carly's clothing is horrendous. She needs a stylist pronto. Wearing a black Hefty bag makes me think she is attending the Katie Holmes School of Fashion Design. Ugh. Her singing of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" was okay, I guess. We're not talking butchering of "Carry on My Wayward Son" or anything like that, but The Chosen One, she ain't. And why does she look like a crazed axe murderer while she's singing? Seriously, watch her face and her eyes. We're not talking eyefucking, we're talking eyekilling. Scary. I think it's absolutely hilarious that she looks stunned, shocked and pissed when the judges don't celebrate her gift of singing to America. Someone has a wee sense of entitlement.
Kristy turns in her best performance by a mile, as Simon says, but not hard when you've been stinking up the joint. She definitely is best suited for country, so she'll probably shine this next week, but after that, I imagine her days are numbered.
Brooke turns in another good performance - - not nearly as stellar as "Love is a Battlefield" though. I hope she didn't peak with that. Her hair looks amazingly great straight. Not a real fan of the official theme song of Stalkers United, but it sounds good with just the piano. Definitely think Brooke is the most consistent female and should be the last female standing, at this point.
Jason certainly isn't going to win the whole shebang, but man, do I love him! He is so freaking funny - - and so freaking stoned most of the time. I liked his rendition of "Fragile" but I do think he needs to bust out of his comfort zone and quick if he wants to stay much longer.
Hot Michael brought all kinds of Aussie hotness to the stage. Finally, finally - - he brings it. First time since Hollywood week I think he has truly, truly connected with the song and looked comfortable on the stage. The last two notes of the performance gave me chills - - so strong and so dead on. As Simon pointed out, most memorable performance of the night - - until David Cook cleaned up in the pimptastic final slot. I admit, I thought "oh crap" when Ryan announced that David was doing "Billie Jean". Absolutely brilliant performance. I know he was doing a cover of Chris Cornell's version - - Ryan announced that. The arrangement was fantastic, the musicians were perfect and David's voice was absolutely suited for the song. Heck, I didn't even mind the eyefucking - - I was actually waiting for it.
Was disappointed with the results show - - the group sing was unbelievably cheesy. What's next, a cover of The Brady Bunch's version of "Sunshine Day"? Hot Michael and David C.'s chest bump was classic and lightened up the geekdom. Very disappointed that Chekezie got the boot - - he seemed very gracious anyhow and is probably relieved that he won't have to run from Ryan grabbing for his face and hair. Again, Ramiele really should have been there. Syesha had the major bitch face going. I don't think she will last much longer. The call-in questions are ridiculous and nothing but (obvious) filler. Does anyone really care why Carly looks like she's gained a little bit of weight? Okay, she's not pregnant. Thanks for clearing that up, Ryan. And her performance wasn't great the night before because she was wearing Spanx? Huh? I'm sorry, since when do your undergarment choices affect your singing or song choice? Isn't she going to go a step further and claim that she was wearing said Spanx when she actually chose the song, since the judges thought the song was all wrong for her? Blame the Spanx! And just a side note - - if she was indeed wearing Spanx on Tuesday night, they are defective and she should get her money back because she didn't look any slimmer. And thanks, Carly, for throwing in that you had just come out of the bathroom before taking the stage. Good to know. Surely I can't be the only one rolling my eyes at this. And can the amazed "there are so many buttons" and "I don't understand recording studio lingo" crap - - we all know that you have recorded an album in the past. That ship has sailed. And David A. - - I'm sorry but I still believe your Stage Dad From Hell picked out that song for you. That is all.
I cannot wait for Dolly Parton next week. Not a country music fan but I love Dolly! Should be interesting.

1 comment:

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