May 8, 2008

It's Time for a New Excuse

Image Source: TMZ

First it was Lohan. The drugs weren't hers because she was wearing someone else's pants. Not that I don't think it's not a normal morning for her to wake up and pull on the pants of whoever she's banged the night before and just leave in them - - ask the lady with the $11,000 fur coat that Lohan stole - - but let's get a little bit real. Not your pants, therefore not your drugs and you have absolutely no idea there were any drugs in that clothing. I might buy it if my neighbor were telling this story, but coming from someone who will hoover up anything white, I'm not buying Lohan's version.

Now Gary Dourdan is going to try his hand at this game. I love Warrick Brown, I really do. Even if I've lost the lovin' feelin' (sorry, been on Tom Cruise overload) for CSI, Warrick was always my favorite. Obviously Gary Dourdan isn't as smart as Warrick Brown.

Gary was arrested on April 28 in Palm Springs, after the local po-po found old Gar asleep in his car at 5:21 a.m. Johnny Law found heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drugs in his car. He was booked on suspicion of drug possession and later bailed out on $5Gs.

This is where is gets hinky. Gary claims the drugs weren't his. Despite the fact that no one else was in the car and it was indeed his car, all those recreational substances were not his. You might think this will fly when you're a kid and you parents caught you redhanded reading a book under the covers ("I wasn't reading!") or watching a movie you weren't supposed to ("But I wasn't watching it!") but can't these drug-addled celebs get any more creative than "It's not mine"? I mean, isn't it their job to be creative most of the time? Isn't that what they get paid for?
Anyhow, the obviously sleep-deprived Gary was hit with three felony charges, with his arraignment set for May 28. If convicted, Gary faces . . . oh, blah, blah. Gary Dourdan is a celebrity. That means he gets the celebrity exception rule, which requires that he show up in court, say he's very very sorry and he won't do it again and the Court will basically give him a slap and tickle and he'll be free to fall asleep in his car on your street.

No comments: