July 18, 2008

Cruise Press Release Suggestions for Week of July 14, 2008

1. The Dark Knight is going to fail without the epic talents of Katie Holmes. Just wait and see.

2. Real men wear heels, says Tom Cruise.

3. Tommy Girl turned down Edwin Salt. He's going to have a cameo on Eli Stone instead. Wait, scratch that.

4. Coming soon to a community college near you - - "How to Sabotage Your Career in Three Years or Less", presented by international superstah and laughingstock Tom Cruise.

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