July 1, 2008

Hobag Meet Kettle

Photo: Celebitchy

I actually cracked up when reading this story. Pamela Anderson called Jessica Simpson a "whore" and a "bitch" on Australian radio, while waiting to go into that country's version of the Big Brother house.

What brought on such vitriol? Apparently the "Real Girls Eat Meat" t-shirt that Simpson was spotted wearing recently. Anderson, a fervent PETA supporter, as well as fervent leather Hermes bag lover, found the support of eating meat repulsive and rather than literately suggesting that practicing vegetarianism might be a better alternative, lashed out at her younger blond doppelganger. Pammy also added an addendum "I don't know whether she was talking about food or men."

Well, Pam would know.

Why do I find this so funny? Well, because attacking Jessica Simpson is like kicking a puppy. The girl seems utterly neurologically defenseless. Not that Anderson would be a likely MENSA member, but after being briefly married to Kid "Waffle House" Rock, I think she can hold her own.

And Anderson seems highly, highly hypocritical in crucifying Simpson for what she may consider cruelty to animals, when apparently it's perfectly okay to slaughter a cow in order to have an overpriced, high-end, fugly bag. I suppose this falls under the Celebrity Exception Rule, or the "do as I say, not as I do".

In any event, since Anderson marries men with the rapidity that most of us replace our toilet paper rolls, and since her last husband was the winner that filmed the sex tape with Paris Hilton, and assuming that she had sexual relations with said husband, it would be fairly accurate to estimate that by association, she has pretty much had sex with everyone in Hollywood. So to call Jessica Simpson, who has probably only had sex with half of the male population of Hollywood, a whore is ingenious.

I think her attack has more to do with sour grapes than any real concern for the animals. If Anderson is so concerned about the treatment of animals, why isn't she lobbying for the adorable white seals, like even that despicable Heather Mills does? I think Anderson is more concerned with staying relevant and worried that someone younger, blonder and prettier, like Simpson, is replacing her.

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