December 12, 2008

Dumbasses

Source: DListed

I am beginning to think that being a member of Joe Simpson's family and being a dumbass are genetically linked, absolutely no way to be avoided.
Let's start with Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz. They had a little boy last month and as if Pete and Ashlee being his parents wasn't punishment enough, they inflicted the name of Bronx Mowgli Wentz on him. For the love of God, why? Bronx Wentz sounds like a medical journal or some type of viral strain and Mowgli? I cannot imagine how many drugs would be necessary to eat up your brain cells to make such a cruel decision.
So after the birth of the unfortunately named Bronx, the Wentzes have been quiet. Strategically quiet, as the case may have been. Seems that Joe Simpson, Ashlee's pervy papa, was shopping baby Bronx photos around to the highest bidder.

In the market that paid upwards of $10 million for the Jolie-Pitt twins, Papa Joe was coming up empty. That's right. No one is interested in the Wentz baby. At least not interested enough to throw the number of dollars at them I am sure Papa Joe is convinced they deserve.

So these two (three, if you include Papa Joe) come off looking greedy, desperate and foolish.

Moving on to Jessica Simpson. This girl has never offended me to the level that some people absolutely cannot stand her. I don't think she's close to being the sharpest tool in the shed but I don't believe she is nearly as dumb as she (and Papa Joe) would like everyone to think.

That being said, where the girl absolutely lacks any intelligence or common sense at all is in her personal relationships. Or perhaps I should say relationships because she seems utterly incapable of keeping them personal. Her marriage to Nick Lachey failed due in large part to the intrusion of MTV's Newlyweds on their lives - - a maneuver set up by Papa Joe. Who, as Jessica's manager and a producer of the show, impeded on Nick and Jessica's personal lives to a disturbing and perverted level.

Since her divorce, Jessica has literally been an open book on her life. Blabbing about dating the douchey John Mayer probably didn't bring about the end of that relationship but I'm sure it helped to speed things up. (Ultimately a blessing, I feel confident).

So now she's been dating Tony Romo for nearly a year. She has made no secret of her feelings for the Dallas quarterback and even appeared on People's cover, to proclaim herself in love and "finally" with the right person. Yep, no pressure there! And this was after Romo supposedly broke off their relationship (temporarily) due to the constant presence of Papa Joe in Jessica's personal life and in their relationship. That was bad enough but apparently Jess managed to squeeze through without a scrape, despite telling the staff writer at People that she wanted to marry again (hint hint) and she wanted children (hint hint).

Now she's allegedly telling friends (who tell their friends, who tell their friends who eventually speak to the media) that she's hoping to get an engagement ring for Christmas. It's possible this is baseless gossip but knowing what we know about Jess, I'm betting this is true. She's made no secret of the fact that she's in love with Tony Romo, that she wants to marry Tony Romo and she wants to have kids. Her younger sister got married this year and just had a baby last month. So, again, I'm thinking that if these exact words didn't come out of Jess's mouth, something very similar to them did.

If you're Tony Romo, what do you do? He's supposedly bought a house in Texas and invited a roommate to live with him. Not exactly the actions of someone who might be ready to settle down. The Dallas fans hate Jessica and make no secret of this. Her father doesn't appear likely to step out of Jessica's professional and personal business and fade quietly into the background. I'm not saying that Tony doesn't love Jess but she does come with an awful lot of baggage. And you know that if they do get engaged or married, it won't be long before she's shooting off her mouth to People or whoever else will put her on their cover, with details about the proposal, wedding plans and their honeymoon night.

I think Jessica would go much further if she would simply keep the details to herself - - or at least to a few trusted girlfriends. Going public will eventually backfire on her.

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