March 26, 2009

American Idol: Top 10 Perform

I was absolutely exhausted last night so I didn't bother with a pen and paper to take notes so my review is the bare minimum.

Randy is attired in his ever-present cardigan, this time the shade of blue cotton candy. Kara's outfit was neither horrific or exciting enough for me to remember 12 hours later. Paula looked like a deranged ballerina. Simon was in his usual black t-shirt and Ryan, unfortunately, has still not fallen down the stairs.

It's Motown Week and Smokey Robinson in the guest mentor. The Idolizers get to travel to Detroit, the home of Motown, and meet not only Smokey but Berry Gordy! Awesome!

Matt got the craptastic first spot and performed "Let's Get it On". He is growing on me because I thought he gave a very solid, nuanced performance. He started behind the piano and then got up and sang to the audience. This type of music is definitely in Matt's wheelhouse.

Kris accompanied himself on guitar to "How Sweet It Is" and when I first heard what he would be singing, I was worried for Kris. However, Kris brought his A game and his voice was great.

Scott sang "You Can't Hurry Love", accompanying himself on the piano. He actually sounded pretty good when they showed the video blurb with Smokey but on stage . . . I'm just not feeling it. Scott is quickly putting himself into forgettable territory and he needs to bring some excitement and quickly. More of note was the fact he was wearing pink colored pants, a floral-y kind of shirt and striped jacket. I guess his dresser didn't show up last night?

Marlboro Megan (who is now apparently just Megan Joy, no Corkrey) really, really looks like if Mattel decided to make a blonde Amy Winehouse doll after spending the month in a crack den. Sheesh. I'm not understanding how a tight, turquoise blue strapless dress with various colors on it, a necklace made of Tinker Toys, hair in a swept up bun on one side of her head with a bright ass turquoise flower behind one ear and sparky blue eyeliner translates into Motown but I'm sure if I went on a 3 day bender, I would get it. She is performing "Once in My Life" by Stevie Wonder and this thing is such a hot ass mess that even Stevie Wonder can see how horrid it is. I think someone needs to drive Mr. Wonder to the Idol studio so he can personally beat the shit out of Marlboro for massacring his song. This must be the worst performance of the night, I don't need to hear anymore.

Anoop is next and he's singing "Ooooh, Baby, Baby" by Smokey himself. Anoop does the man proud and the song justice. Maybe a few weak notes, but overall, Anoop has it going on. Very good, very strong, very sweet voice. The judges give him somewhat weak praise and basically tell him to bring Anoop Dawg back next week.

Michael is singing "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" and . . . ouch. I'm sure Michael is a nice guy but . . . well, he may be a good singer at the local bar and at church but I think he's out of his league in this competition. Strained, a bit all over the place and just not good. Not Marlboro levels of musical abuse, but he's definitely in the Bottom Three.

LRR is dolled up for Motown night, complete with a bouffanty-shag wig. I do like her dress though. She is singing "Heatwave" by Martha and the Vandellas. I like the song, it's catchy but LRR has just not delivered the incredible, big range of vocals the judges want us to believe she has. Sure, she can hit the power and glory notes but I'm starting to think there isn't anything else. A bit of skating by.

Adam Fucking Lambert is next and he will be singing "Tracks of My Tears" - - complete with a suit and slicked back hair! Holy cow! No ten pounds of foundation, no guyliner and no painted nails! Speaking of nails, Adam fucking nails this song. Jeebus. I actually have chills listening to him perform. Obviously the audience does too, because he gets a standing O from everyone - - including Smokey, Berry Gordy and Kara.

Gokey is singing "Get Ready" and at least he doesn't fanwank in front of Smokey so badly he fucks up his words, like he did with Randy Travis last week. Smokey gives him very valid advice about not leaving out key words like "You're outta sight" with his rendition . . . which Gokey pointedly ignores during his performance. Fuck Gokey. I am over him. Smokey Robinson gives you advice, the man has written over 4,000 songs - - he is classic, iconic and untouchable, judges, more so than any song and he gives good advice to Danny Lame Ass Gokey and Gokey is so full of himself he ignores it. Whatever, Gokey. Performance-wise, another typical Gokey-nated turn. Boring, boring, boring. Can someone vote this moron off my t.v.?

Horrendous Allison gets the pimp spot, ostensibly since she ended up in the Bottom 3 last week and who would know it's Motown week? Girlfriend dresses the same, regardless of the theme. Layers upon layers of clothing, kind of like the character of Allison from The Breakfast Club. So Breakfast Club is performing "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" and . . . I don't get it. It's not totally horrendous but maybe I have an ear wax buildup problem because I don't understand why the judges are so hot and bothered over her. It's most definitely a waste of the pimp spot, that's for damn sure.

My analysis: This show belongs to Adam Fucking Lambert. He is in a league by himself. He is the only performer who is not only consistent but is creative and puts his own spin on things. Give him the freaking title already!

Adam Fucking Lambert is so fucking safe. Other than him, Anoop, Kris and Matt, everyone else totally underwhelmed me.

Should go: Marlboro Megan. She has outstayed her welcome and then some.

Will go: Michael. He was stuck in the middle of the competition and doesn't have the Vote for the Worst support that Marlboro does.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I just really wanted to tell you that I think your American Idol blogs are hilarious! Please keep writing!