March 24, 2009

Are Tom and Katie Buckling Under the Strain of Their Fauxmance?

TomKat Do Tokyo, after Katie's $40,000 makeover; Source: Daily Mail

With the exception of the first few months of their relationsham back in 2005, I have felt that the bloom has long since worn off the professional rose known as TomKat. But it looks like the media outlets are finally starting to pick up on some tense and forced body language by the Dianetic Duo.

Famous magazine (a weekly from Australia) claims that the effort of selling themselves as the perfect couple in public is becoming tremendously difficult and, as a result, they are having more fights in private. It claims that their always perfect, happy smiles in public are because of the barrage of criticism their marriage has received and they feel they have to prove how in love they are by acting like everything is perfect all the time. Meanwhile, behind closed doors, the strain is showing.

Lainey from Lainey Gossip states that loud, heated arguments were heard from their hotel room in Tokyo, where both were for the premiere of Tom's quasi-stinker Valkyrie, and Katie could be heard forcefully saying "no, no, no" to Tom's attempts to quiet her.

First, regarding Lainey's exclusive news - - I don't believe it because that would mean that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes share a hotel room together and I could sooner see Elizabeth Taylor and Debbie Fisher circa 1959 sharing quarters than the Jesus Christ of Scientology and his mute muppet. I doubt Tom and Katie see much of each other when the media isn't present. In my opinion, this "match" is strictly for public consumption. I also doubt that Katie is allowed to say "no" unless it is so stipulated in her contract. And seeing as how Tom is the expert in everything from gynecology to chemical imbalances, I doubt he would allow this.

I do believe what Famous reported, with the exception of the two always having fake, perfect smiles. Since when? We all know that Tom lights up like a nuclear Christmas tree any time he sees someone with a badge that says "PRESS" so stories of his fake, perfect smile is fairly accurate. But at this point I wouldn't be willing to bet my lunch money that Katie Holmes is still in possession of her natural teeth. She barely smiles at all anymore, whether it be fake or genuine.

And this gets me to the main point of this post. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes both claim the profession of "actor". So why is it that these supposed thespians cannot manage to act their parts of a loving couple, even in the relative few minutes they are seen together? I see more enthusiasm and general affection when Tom sees his good buddies like David Beckham or Will Smith, or when Katie spots her black AmEx card.

If a real relationship is what they are selling, I'm not buying. I haven't been for a very long time. But for those less pessimistic, slapping extensions or a wig on Katie and slipping the press a story about her spending $40,000 on a body and image overhaul isn't going to get the job done. Never mind that many people today are out of jobs, losing their homes and/or survive on less than $40,000 per year - - although such wasteful and irresponsible spending is abhorring - - it does little good to trot out a "new Katie" in Tokyo when she returns home the same sad sack, in an unflattering choppy 'do and the most abysmal attire imaginable. Regardless of what Tom and Katie's "people" are saying, their body language and their eyes say it all.

Wrap it up, Camp Cruise. It's fairly obvious that Tom and Katie aren't the lead players in the most amazing love story ever. Heck, they wouldn't be believable in my local high school's drama department. Not only are they not in love (with each other, at least), neither one seems particularly vested in their business arrangement. So let's call it quits, issue that go-to PR-friendly statement about how the two of them will remain the best of friends while they continue to partner together in the upbringing of their child, let Tom return to Oprah's couch to bemoan his bad luck and Katie hit the Lifetime TV movie circuit, if she's fortunate.
The "normal" Katie Homes; Source: Daily Mail

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