April 30, 2009

The Powers That Be at Idol Are Revealing Their Hand

So no full recap this week. Sorry! I was feeling a bit under the weather and just couldn't muster up the creative gusto to be appropriately snarky.

However, these are my quick and dirty thoughts:

Jamie Foxx. Awesome mentor. Was worried when I saw him and couldn't figure out how he would mentor exactly (as I had no idea he had such a musical background). However, he gave the Idolizers solid advice and as an added bonus, he got in Gokey's face and freaked him out. Please bring him back every week.

Tender Dawg. Is Jamie's #1 pick? Whaaaaaaaaat??? (TM Jamie Foxx). Awesome for Kris and probably a huge confidence booster, as he is going FIRST yet again while Gokey gets the next to last pimp slot. Whatever, show. You couldn't be more obvious in your sabotage. Kris, IMO, gave a lovely, emotional performance. I don't know WTF Simon is talking about, with it being "wet" and equating Kris to a spaniel dog on a walk. Is he drinking from Paula's cup? I'm thinking TPTB are shitting bricks over the fact that Kris is getting more votes than their precious Gokey and are doing everything within their power to send Kris packing (i.e., craptastic first slot, Simon abuse).

Breakfast Club. My overall favorite performance of hers, by far. Huge song and I think she killed it. Randy must have said "yo" about a hundred times before anyone cared enough to listen to him. Kara overpraised her so much she may be in trouble. Simon threw her under the bus. Why exactly? Incredible performance gets a middling review from him and truly awful performances have gotten his pass. Confusing. Breakfast Club looked great - - first time we've seen her sans Monchichi hair and not wearing 8 layers of clothing.

Matty G. Glad to see that Jamie Foxx went back and gave him further relevant advice. Proof that Jamie Foxx took this seriously. Thought Matt was a bit boring but his performance was decent. This type of music definitely suits his voice. No talking back, though, Matt. Can be the kiss of death - - unless you're a douchey smarminator from Wisconsin with a dead wife to market. Simon's "brilliant" was puzzling though - - didn't see that coming. Are they trying to push Matt through or make sure his fans feel comfortable and don't vote?

Douchey Gokey. God bless Jamie Foxx for getting in Gokey's face and freaking him out. That was like the kid equivalent of Halloween, with Christmas being a Gokey surprise boot. While I think this was Gokey's best performance in probably ever, since his bar was set so low, I'm not sure how much praise that truly is. He still continues to sound pretty much the same to me. Purely shallow and borderline disturbing, but Gokey looked better in his confessional minus the Gokey Eyewear and with the full goatee happening. Pulling a James Hatfield with only the beard scruff makes him look like he watches kiddie porn. Ick. And can the big "thank you!"s to the audience, no one else does that. Over the top praise, as we expected, as everyone apparently is drinking the Douchey Kool Aid.

Adam Fucking Lambert. Adam could sing The Hokey Pokey (or The Hokey Gokey?) at this point and I'd be voting. I'm that much under his spell. He's wearing a white suit (take that, Gokey) with a black shirt - - is this a direct jab at the comparisons between "angelic" Gokey and "devilish" Adam? And holy shit, he's swaggering down the intergalactic staircase! Adam is like a sneering gay angel sent from above to touch our lives - - with eyeliner. Totally, totally agree with Kara's commentary - - it's strange, it's fun, it's sleazy. And I'm totally ready to jump on board that train, drink the Kool Aid and ride it wherever Adam wants to take me. Randy is an idiot for complaining about Adam being theatrical - - he's been this was all competition, dude - - and stating it's a singing contest. It's not a singing contest - - it's a popularity and performance contest. I'm surprised Paula didn't cry during her critique - - although she did have a hard time talking around her tongue.

Final notes - - I miss Anoop. I think he would have been good at this week. Wonder who Jamie Foxx thought he wouldn't like out of the group? Oh yeah, Gokey. Why was Paula dressed like a big red drunken present?

More final notes after the results - - Bye, Matty G. You will be fine. TPTB can't have you interfering with their plans for world musical domination with the Smarminator. Classy sing out and I'll admit I had tears during his "Home Sweet Home" video segment.

We are never getting rid of Gokey, are we? It's obvious he is going nowhere.

Adam Fucking Lambert looked scared to death he was going to get the boot. No worries, Adam, you are destined for the Final Two. If you had gotten the boot last night, a virtual shitstorm would have occurred and Idol ratings would have plummeted.

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