"My daughter one day decided that she wasn't speaking to my husband, myself and my son, and that's how it's continued for the last, oh gosh, four or five years. And it was sad, that's what killed my husband, actually. He just didn't want to live after that. He [had] just done everything he could possibly do for
his daughter, and she wanted no part of him once he couldn't do anything for her."
May 29, 2009
May 28, 2009
Katie Holmes, obviously loving cameras and spotlights, shlepped her 3-year-old
to last week’s “American Idol” finale. The fans were shrieking. The paparazzi
were hyper. The kid was shaking. Watching this, Ivana Visnjic, artist wife of
actor Goran Visnjic, volunteered a lesson in motherhood with: “What are you
doing? This is no environment to bring a baby! You’re traumatizing this baby.”
Holmes promptly left.
May 22, 2009
May 21, 2009
May 19, 2009
May 18, 2009
If you believe Blind Gossip, Armageddon Cruise-style is coming soon to a tabloid near you!
The word on the street is that Katie has gotten herself a lawyer and served The Tiny One with dissolution of contract papers, to be followed by dissolution of marriage. She is supposedly asking for custody of Suri and The Tiny One is allegedly quivering in his four-inch-heeled tennies over the dirt she could reveal on him. Interesting indeed.
Let's start with the obvious. This assumes that Katie has a spine. Questionable prospect in itself. Katie appeared to have checked her spine at the door when she signed on the dotted line. Has the chick even said more than three sentences on her own since "hooking up with" and sham-marrying Tom? Everything has either been a press release or sounded so robotic I can actually picture Katie repeating the lines in the mirror at home, with Tom standing behind her and smacking her on the head (from his stepladder) with a pencil every time she blunders.
Second, I have no doubt that Katie has dirt on Tom. You couldn't possibly associate with all that craziness and fuckery for 4 years and not have quite a few stories to spill. The real debate is whether or not Katie would spill them. Besides being afraid of the Scieno-mafia coming after you, I would think that (for example) revealing that your relationship was a sham from the get-go and The Tiny One was and is allegedly carrying on relationships with other males might not show Katie in the best light. After all, if she willingly entered into a contractual relationship, it hardly makes her into a scorned spouse, does it?
The issue of Suri throws the whole thing into a PR stratosphere we have yet to see. Katie supposedly wants custody, which makes sense as I believe Katie is Suri's only biological relative represented in the Blind Gossip item. Based on how often Isabella and Connor Cruise see their mother, Nicole Kidman, I think it would be a safe bet to assume that Tom likes having primary custody and likes being in control. As often as he (and Katie) have used Suri for publicity in the last two years alone, there is no way in Xenu's universe that he is going to hand over the keys to the candy shop so easily. Further, if it is revealed that Katie willingly and knowingly entered into a contractual relationship with Tom, what does that say about Suri exactly? That Katie knowingly and willingly agreed to bear a child for a man she had no intention of staying with for the long term? Or that she had a child fathered by someone else that she knew was not Tom's (allegedly) and would hand over to the Church of Scientology when the contract was up?
I think we all know Tom and Katie are not in it for the long haul. I also think we all know that Tom has been the worst thing professionally for Katie, and Tom has been the worst thing professionally for Tom. I also don't think Katie has really done any favors for Tom. Suri has been the only positive thing, PR-wise, for either party and it appears that the general public is starting to get tired of seeing Suri day after day, clearly not enjoying the media attention while her ass clown parental units mug for the cameras.
Do I think Katie has grown a spine and officially served Tom? No. I think she intends to fulfill her contract and collect as much money as she can. And despite her craptastic shit-on-a-stick appearance, I think she enjoys whatever perks are left being Mrs. Tom Cruise. After all, would Katie Holmes of "Dawson's Creek" fame have been invited to the White House correspondents' dinner or to speak in Washington, D.C. Memorial Day concert?
I am a bit late reporting this news but I am overjoyed to hear it.
Convicted killer Barbara Stager was denied parole in March for the first degree shooting death of her husband, Russ, in 1988. Stager was convicted in 1989, sentenced to death and resentenced in 1993, with the death penalty being overturned in favor of life imprisonment. This was her first parole hearing.
If you have never heard of this case, I highly recommend that you pick up Jerry Bledsoe's Before He Wakes, a chilling recounting of Barbara Stager's life and crimes. Not only does Bledsoe, a North Carolina resident himself, dig deep into Russ and Barbara Stager's marriage, but also that of Barbara's first marriage - - to Larry Ford, father of her two sons and also a husband who ended up dead from a gunshot wound in their marital bed. For the record, Barbara was never charged in Larry's death and it was not allowed to be introduced into her trial for Russ' murder.
This woman is a cold, calculating killer who put financial gain ahead of family and love. She collected hundreds of thousands of dollars upon her husbands' deaths and for that, she should have received the death penalty in my opinion. Is there anything worse than a family member killing another for money? Greed isn't one of the seven deadly sins for nothing.
Stager is eligible for parole in 2012 and here's hoping justice for Russ Stager (and Larry Ford, although not through the courts) continue to be served.
May 15, 2009
May 14, 2009
On Wednesday night, the death knell finally rung for that eternal King of Cheese, Douchey Geekey!
Of course we had to wait fifty-five seeming endless fucking minutes to get the happy news but it was worth it to say goodbye to the "Master Ass" of vocals.
The only people crying over this loss, I think, are the stockholders of LensCrafters who had hoped Douchey's planned world takeover eyeglass by eyeglass failed miserably. Oh, and maybe Kara, who looked utterly shocked that there are citizens in America who refused to tolerate this injustice and fuckery any longer.
With Douchey finally being shown the door, that leaves Care Bear and Adam Fucking Lambert to battle it out in what is surely the duel of the century. Who do you pick? The cute, cuddly smooth voiced Care Bear from Arkansas with the weepy father or the Prince of the Magical Forest with the strut, swagger and a high note that would make cabaret queens and Steven Tyler cry?
May 13, 2009
Tonight our remaining three Idolizers - - or should I say, my remaining two Idolizers and some douchey interloper - - will be singing the Judges' Choice (also known as The Battle of the Egos, according to Seacrest) and their own personal choice. Right now, I am calling that Douchey Geekey will choose to sing some overblown, sadsack, corny and emotionally stunted song because we all know that's what he excels at.
Seacrest geeks his way down the Intergalactic Staircase. Glad to see he's still patronizing the local tanning booth as well as using those Crest Whitestrips.
The judges, in all their righteousness, are introduced. Randy is wearing a navy blue cardigan with white pinstripes. I swear, I have a sweater almost identical to that. I look way cooler in it though. He's also wearing matching navy blue rimmed eyewear. I think Douchey has started an eyeglass trend that has gone too far now. Randy is also wearing his candy necklace and bracelet. Sweet. Kara is wearing her hair stick straight and bangs in her face. Don't likey. It makes her look harsh. I'm worried she is going to be bitchy tonight solely based on the hair. Paula is super sparkly in a black sparkly thing. She jumps up from her chair upon introduction and does a quasi-twirl. Sassy Pants is in his usual white Hanes undershirt.
Seacrest brings the Top 3 out - - Douchey in a douchey shirt, with Tuff Skins jeans and a dumb ass wallet chain hanging out. He is trying so hard to look relevant. It's funny. Care Bear is cute and cuddly in his little jeans and jacket. Adam Fucking Lambert is in a toned down grayish-silverish long sleeved shirt and jeans and looks somewhat subdued.
We are subjected to a brief film about the "Hometown Heroes" - - see Adam F. Lambert in San Diego, with crowds going crazy. Hee, no film with the half-naked girl who threw herself at him. See Care Bear being cute in Arkansas. See Douchey . . . oh wait, they totally cut his film off. Ha ha ha!!
I guess Seacrest got the memo about there being only 60 minutes for Idol and therefore no time for idle chit chat on Douchey. Let's get right to it!
So finally Douchey gets the Craptastic First Slot. Paula is the judge assigned to him and she gives him Terence Trent D'Arby's "Dance Little Sister". I'm sure he will fuck this up, although I expected her to give him something in the "Endless Love" or "Hero" range. Anyhow, Douchey is Douchey, what can we say at this point? There is no "Dream On" scream, thank God (although my cat Sparky absolutely refused to be in the room while Idol was on tonight, go figure). But Douchey, even when he's not being totally offensive and totally off-key, is just a big bag of meh to me. I will say that if he ever does that chicken dance pelvic thrust thing again he should be shot. He's just too Geekey to pull those moves off. Adam Fucking Lambert, he is not. And why does he sound so breathy and gaspy? Is he still trying to catch his breath from last week's hatchet job? So not impressed. Paula is doing her drunk dancing and Randy is actually fist pumping.
Of course, the judges are. They have been drinking the Douchey Geekey juice for weeks. Randy says "let the games begin!" (what games? Mind games? Assault on the ears games? Douchey Games?) and says something about Douchey performing like crazy. Randy may be on to something there, although I would say that Douchey is performing to the judges and the crowd like crazy - - borderline acting. Because he sure ain't singing. Randy also either thinks Douchey's song was "dope!" or Douchey himself is. I vote for the latter. Kara says something stupid and totally irrelevant about a money spot but then dings Douchey on his dancing. She says he was too gyrating (I say too annoying and spastic) and his performance won't be remembered tomorrow. Paula thought it was really good and tells Douchey it was a fantastic job. Of course she does. Paula picked the song. Douchey could sit on the stage, yank his back leg up and tongue bathe himself and Paula would see the magic in Douchey's actions. Sassy Pants deemed Douchey's dancing "desperate" - - although this isn't a dancing show, in case you can't remember. It's a singing competition and a stage for dead wives and cheesefests. Simon says that it was vocally very good although he thought the saxophone solo in the middle was problematic, as it sounded like a toy saxophone. I thought the sax solo was problematic in that Douchey attempted to sing against the sax and roundly lost. He also thought it was the wrong song choice. Take that, Ms. Abdul.
In order to simply things a bit, I am going to analyze both song choices and performances together.
So Douchey's second song and personal pick was (naturally) Joe Cocker's "You are So Beautiful". What a shocker. Of course this big windbag of cheese would choose this song. If he could get away with it, I really think he would sing to himself - - "Did you ever know, I'm my herooooo. . . . ." Seriously. The guy claps for himself, it's not a big jump. And he can't answer a simple question from a simpleton like Seacrest with a simple response. He has to give a long, drawn out, over-analytical response. God, I cannot stand him. Example, when Seacrest does his usual "why did you choose this song or that song", Douchey has the nerve to say that he doesn't listen to other people's opinions. Clearly obvious based on the fact that he didn't take the advice of one single mentor this season.
Anyhow, Douchey's second performance. Starts off slow and gaspy. Surprising, I know. It's almost depressing in the lack of any emotion or "uuummmpphh" it has going on. Leave it to Douchey though, he must go and church it up. I will say the last note is decent and on a Douchey-Meter Scale it places fairly well - - although the bar is set so low that Adam Fucking Lambert could come out with strep throat and attempt any Mariah Carey song (which are usually the bane of my existence) and still score higher than any of Douchey's best efforts. Because Douchey has the personality of a sad, wet noodle.
Randy says "check it out, check it out" like a thousand times and then says "Beautiful" was an amazing song and "you can really, really, really sing!" Seriously? Aren't we past this, Randy? This is the Top 3 . . . out of 100,000, as Seacrest reminded us earlier. I would hope the Top 3 can really sing - - although I do have doubts about Douchey. Randy also thinks Douchey has mad vocals. I think Randy is mad. Kara said that everything he didn't do in the first performance he did in the second. She thought it was "stunning" (yeah, stunningly boring and dull) and "amazing" (what's going to be amazing is when Joe Cocker kicks Douchey's ass). Paula thinks Douchey left us all breathless. I think Douchey left himself breathless because he's still gasping. She says that this song allowed Douchey to perform his magic (provided you consider his magic coming out on stage, digging up the memory of your dead wife and pandering to the judges and viewing audience in the most toolish way possible). Simon loves the song itself and thought it wasn't necessary for Douchey to change the arrangement. He thought it would have worked with just Douchey and a piano. Then of course Kara has to get all buttinsky and screech at Simon because Simon apparently doesn't know about arrangements, whatever. Does anyone care? Simon does say that it was a "vocal master class". I think he meant "vocal master ass". And oh yeah - - Douchey changed his outfit, at least the top portion. He still has the Tuff Skins jeans but now has a "serious" shirt, tie and vest. WTH? He looks like a douchey banker on his lunch hour.
Care Bear is sandwiched in the middle of this sausage fest, yet again. Poor Care Bear. How mean are TPTB to constantly kick the Bear? Unfortunately for Care Bear, Randy and Kara were assigned to select his song and they selected One Republic's "Apologize". Care Bear performs it on the piano and it's really fairly solid. I mean, you can't really change it up that much. Overall, I found it to be a good performance, nothing to get excited or offended about. Definitely no chicken dancing manuevers.
Randy thinks this shows the kind of artist that Care Bear can be. Kara thought it was a competent performance but believes he should be "swinging" it out of the park by now and taking more chances. I don't think Kara is thinking about music when she's thinking about what is "swinging". Paula says she is used to Care Bear taking artistic license with his song choices and while she heard a bum note that was loud, she is still proud of Care Bear. What the fuck, Paula? Douchey's performance last week consisted of nothing but bum notes and he gets an A+++ for effort and Care Bear gets thrown under the bus? Simon thinks that Kara is a cop out. Love! He thinks she's all kinds of wrong for choosing the song for Care Bear to perform and then blaming him. He feels Kara didn't hold up to her own responsibilities. Kara retorts with asking Simon if he ever arranged a song himself. Simon thinks that if Kara and Randy wanted Care Bear to perform this song with a guitar versus a piano they should have said so. Ridiculous on its face but I'm still siding with Simon. Just 'cause. Paula responds with typical Idol maturity and sticks her fingers in her ears and says LALALALALALALA. Well, thank goodness this is all about CARE BEAR and his performance.
Care Bear's second song is his version of Kanye West's "Heartless" and when I heard this, I honestly thought my little Care Bear was going to be annihilated. However, Care Bear hits this one out of the park. This should make the judges STFU about "artistry" and "arrangements" and whatever other b.s. they are so fond of spouting. Care Bear takes care of business. And he does so in a most excellent black sparkly shirt. And why did he choose "Heartless"? "Because it's fun." Love me some Care Bear. And that last note was spot on.
Randy says this is one of the toughest voting nights in history. He likes Care Bear's version BETTER than The Fray's and better than Kanye's! Go, Care Bear! He also says "you are in it to win it!" Kara found it bold, brave and fearless to stand on the stage with an acoustic guitar and perform that song. She said Care Bear was 100% with his tone, pitch and phrasing. Paula thinks Care Bear is the bravest artist for singing a song about Simon Cowell. Ha! Paula made a funny. She says performances like this one are what keep Care Bear relevant - - and by doing something different. She commends Care Bear and gives him a "bravo". Simon is going to be honest (that's nice) and says after what he thought was a lame song choice for Care Bear, he had written him out - - that, however, all changed after that performance. Whoo hoo, Care Bear!
Adam Fucking Lambert gets the Pimp Position again - - yes, I am blinded by the brilliance that is Adam Fucking Lambert but even I can see the major pimpage going on. Simon has chosen Adam's song and he has chosen U2's "One". He also makes sure to inform us that he personally spoke to Bono to get permission to use the song and Bono was delighted over Adam Fucking Lambert performing his song. So Seacrest asks Sassy Pants why he chose "One" and Simon says it's one of his favorite songs. So Adam takes the stage in a faded denim shirt, which is still brilliant, of course, and the stage is full of darkness and a piano is accompanying Adam and Adam is stripped down without his guyliner or electrifying hair. He starts out slow and it's truly beautiful. Baby Jesus is crying, ya'll. And then . . . Adam Lambertizes it. And . . . I'm not sure I like it. Now I flove me some Adam F. Lambert as much as a redneck loves RC Cola and Twinkie wedding cakes but . . something just isn't right. I know, I know. Adam Fucking Lambert is not dazzling me with his brilliance and earth saving voice of angels. It's just too much somehow, as if Adam Fucking Lambert could ever be too much. And I don't believe I'm mistaken but I think Adam just tonguefucked the camera, very Lizard King like.
So Randy says "DUDE" and Adam is still in the zone. The cabaret zone? The high kicking zone? He says Adam is one of the hottest 3 in the competition. That Randy. So smaaaaart. Next thing he'll be saying "you can really, really sing!" Oh wait, he already said that. Kara found Adam's performance "unbelievable" and was amazed at how he could totally change up "One". I am too. I'm curious to know what Bono thinks. Paula claims her life is miserable for Simon's gloating over the song choice and Adam's rendition of it. She does say that it was "brilliant" and she's looking at the next American Idol. Holy crap, pimp and predict much? Simon found "One" to be a brilliant song choice (no surprise there) and Adam worked it out. He said that if Adam wasn't in the final, it would be one of the biggest upsets in the show's tainted and set-up history. Okay, well, I added "tainted" and "set-up".
Adam did add in his little after-talk with Seacrest that the lyrics to "One" are truly beautiful and everyone should go back and listen to them. Which we should all do immediately as the Unicorn King has decreed.
So Adam's second song is Aerosmith's "Cryin'" and if Adam had said he was going to do Aerosmith's "Dream On", I may very well have laughed myself to death at the obvious slight against Douchey. Adam says he's going to twist it up a bit to make it his own, but that Steven Tyler is "the man". True that. Adam also says he wants to do Mr. Tyler proud. Here's hoping!
Adam swaggers out on stage in rocker gear and . . . someone needs to take the Red Bull or Monster away from the backup singer because she is way, way too loud. When you can't hear Adam Fucking Lambert singing to Baby Jesus and the angels in heaven, you're hitting those pipes a wee bit too loud. BTW, heard a rumor that Adam was supposedly going to sing "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak. I. WOULD. HAVE. LOST. MY. SHIT. if he had. I love this song with a seriousness that is unequaled. I don't think Paula loves her Vodka and Vicodin as much as I love this song. And I think it would have been fucking perfect for Adam to sing this - - provided he kept in his lower register and didn't try to bust out the glory note.
But I digress because he didn't sing that awesome song. "Cryin'" is probably pretty perfect for Adam. He hits the big Adam F. Lambert glory note at the end and the audience goes wild.
Randy says Adam is one of the best contestants they have ever had. He loves this performance even more than "One". He tells Adam he should be a rock star. Kara wants to know, yet again, how Adam hits those high notes. I think he may be grabbing or pinching something you don't have, sweetheart. She found it "amazing" and expects to see him at the final. Paula says that Adam sets the bar so high in the sky (because that's where unicorns and angels fly), she hopes that he collected frequent flyer miles. Simon says he is not going to suck up the way RaKaPa did but says it's very easy to assume he will sail through. He basically tells the viewing audience to vote for Adam F. Lambert because he deserves it based on talent.
Seacrest skips over and asks Adam how he thought he did. Seacrest, please. That's like asking God what he thought about what he did on the sixth day. Adam says that Douchey Geekey and Care Bear did really well and it's just an honor to be in their company. Awwwwwww.
To sum it up: Douchey served up a slice of pithy pizza with extra cheese. Care Bear refused to let the Idol bus run him over and gave a big F.U. to the judges with "Heartless". Adam failed to shine his usual brilliance but still outdazzles Douchey even on his worst day. And the producers suck ass because they STILL can't manage to get this show in on time!
May 8, 2009
Brooke Hogan, daughter of ignoramus dickhead Hulk Hogan and older sister of cry baby shit driver Marine assaulter Nick Hogan, just turned 21. Yes, 21. And that's 21 in human years, not dog years. I think BEAT is an understatement.
Lindsay Lohan is currently 22, turning 23 this summer. Yes, it seems like we've been inundated with Lindsay's hijinks, drug problems, sexual partners and overall whacked lifestyle for a lot longer than just the several years we have.
Other than Ali Lohan, who is still technically a minor, are these two the oldest looking females under the age of 23 in Hollywood? In the States?
Assuming she hasn't maxed out her stupid quotient already, that is.
Mother of the Year and General Boil on the Ass of Society Dina Lohan tells us all not worry about little ole Ali. She's told The New York Daily News that 45, I mean 15, year old Ali is being homeschooled by none other than Dina herself. Great. So Ali may not know much about American history, adjectives and pronouns but she'll know loads about cocaine, champagne and Valium!
“She is home schooled,” Dina Lohan tells the Daily News. “I’m a firm believer in staying in school but, in the business, it’s gotten difficult for Ali to be in school.”
People, please refresh my memory. What exactly does Ali do "in the business"? I know she was on that shitty reality show with her mother last year but other than that, all I've seen her do is pose for some stupid photo shoot in New York last winter and run around with her skanky, drugged out older sister.
Dina claims school is a little tougher for Ali - - I'm sure it would be for a 15 year old who looks 45 (and a BEAT 45), seems to have an IQ roughly at the same equivalent and Lindsay Lohan for an older sister - - and Ali herself reportedly complained of being bullied during that craptastic reality show.
Doesn't everyone have a tough time in high school? I'm not saying bullying is okay, because it certainly is not. But wouldn't the answer be to get Ali a new mom and new sister, versus taking her out of school?
Regardless of what Dina says, I don't believe for a moment Ali is truly being schooled in anything other than how to grow up and be as big a media whore as her sister.
“I grew up watching Lindsay, and it made me want to do what she does,” Ali told Teen Vogue last year. “Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you … it’s so cool when people look up to you.”
Sad. And stupid. Her sister has basically had multiple public meltdowns, run-ins with the law, drug problems, penis overload problems and professional problems - - and Ali wants to be just like her? The stupid apple certainly doesn't fall far from the stupid tree.
As a final thought, Dina added “People are saying I took Ali to a club, which is absurd. I don’t go to clubs and I wouldn’t take a 15-year-old to one.”
Absolutely not! Dina will wait until Ali is 16.
Source: Yahoo News
This is sadness for a Friday.
Farrah Fawcett has been battling cancer for the last two years but her medical condition is apparently much more dire than has previously been let on.
Longtime partner and father of her son, Ryan O'Neal has told People magazine that Farrah is bedridden, can only speak a few words and has lost her famous golden hair. He also stated that her treatment has pretty much ended and she is being kept on IVs for nourishment.
I am not a doctor nor any type of medical professional but it seems that when no treatment is being administered and IVs are provided for nourishment, the end is very close.
"Access Hollywood" reported last night that Farrah's 91 year old father has been flown to L.A. from his Texas home in order to be at her bedside. It's also been reported in various other media outlets that Farrah's son Redmond has been allowed to leave the jail where he is currently serving time on a drug charge to spend time with her.
For me, Farrah will always be Charlie's Angel Jill Munroe. When I was little, I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I even had the Charlie's Angels dolls and wanted the famous Farrah flip-do (although my dad had me get the Dorothy Hamill bowl cut).
Farrah managed to leave the stereotypical Jill Munroe behind, in my opinion, with her moving and emotional performance in The Burning Bed in 1985 - - a television movie that is still hard to watch, even today. And she did a great job, alongside O'Neal, playing convicted child killer Diane Downs, in Small Sacrifices.
Thoughts and prayers go to Farrah as well as the Fawcett and O'Neal families. She has always seemed like a trooper and I'm sure continues to be strong.