May 14, 2009

America Puts the "Go" in Gokey

Thank you, Jeebus, it's finally happened! Our prayers, our dreams, our fondest desires (well, those without George Clooney and/or Johnny Depp) have been answered and come true!

On Wednesday night, the death knell finally rung for that eternal King of Cheese, Douchey Geekey!

Of course we had to wait fifty-five seeming endless fucking minutes to get the happy news but it was worth it to say goodbye to the "Master Ass" of vocals.

The only people crying over this loss, I think, are the stockholders of LensCrafters who had hoped Douchey's planned world takeover eyeglass by eyeglass failed miserably. Oh, and maybe Kara, who looked utterly shocked that there are citizens in America who refused to tolerate this injustice and fuckery any longer.

With Douchey finally being shown the door, that leaves Care Bear and Adam Fucking Lambert to battle it out in what is surely the duel of the century. Who do you pick? The cute, cuddly smooth voiced Care Bear from Arkansas with the weepy father or the Prince of the Magical Forest with the strut, swagger and a high note that would make cabaret queens and Steven Tyler cry?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I thanked Tom Cruise and Baby Jesus, too, when I learned Danny had been sent home. I wondered if he had been punished for the crime against Allison -- which he most righteously should have been. HTF do you blow both the duet and the solo and STILL make it? Thank you, thank you, AI voters for finally coming to your senses. And thank you for your totally funny-ass AI blog. I'd laugh harder, except I pulled an ab muscle this week.