May 6, 2009

Care Bear Lives to Fight Another Day!


Yes, the heavens are raining tears of joy and probably something nonalcoholic (since he strikes me as a lemonade kinda guy) for Care Bear's surprise safety on American Idol. There is a God and he has conferred with John Lennon and George Harrison and agreed they all floved Care Bear's performance of "Come Together" last night.

I squeed so much over Care Bear's surprise exodus to the Stools of Safety that I nearly peed in my pants (TM Care Bear). I thought for sure, based on the judges' glum looks when Seacrest was recapping Care Bear's performance, that he was a goner.

Unfortunately, Care Bear's reprieve from being thrown under the Idol bus didn't mean that Douchey Geekey got the surprise boot. No, the misery and plague that is Douchey lives on. Bastard.

No surprise that Adam F. Lambert is safe. Duh. But Breakfast Club? Really? I was just starting to get girlfriend's vibe. Damn. Didn't want her to take a bullet in the path of the seemingly unstoppable Gokinator. I mean, if that rendition of "Dream On" - - which makes Amanda Overmeyer's version of "Carry On My Wayward Son" last year sound like Baby Jesus serenading you at the baptism of a beautiful Adam F. Lambert unicorn - - didn't do him in, he's not going anywhere, folks.

I did think Breakfast Club's singout was fabulous - - the emotion in her voice was stunning. Girlfriend will go far. No worries.

No Doubt sucked ass. Thank God for fast forward. Paula looked great and she still has moves but the song didn't do much for me. DAUGHTRY was aaaaiiiight. His facial hair was weirding me out. Thank the heavens he doesn't have a deal with LensCrafters . . . unlike some people.

I pity us all next week, being forced to see the everlasting, endless cheesy cockroach of Douchey Geekey "going home" to a parade. If we think he's smug and arrogant now, just wait . . .
Our Top 3:
Care Bear!
Adam F. Lambert!
Douchey Geekey!

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