June 9, 2009

Jessica Alba Needs a Map

Dumb bitch pride! Source: DListed
I am not a fan of Jessica Alba's. She is basically one of a thousand Hollywood "actresses" who look great in a bikini but don't want to be cast for their looks and want to be taken as a serious ar-TEEST. Yeah, whatever. I say if you can get jobs in a cutthroat industry because you're genetically blessed, be thankful and go with it. Farrah Fawcett became uber-popular because of a bathing suit poster; only later was she taken as a serious actress.

The difference, however, between Farrah and Ms. Alba is that Ms. Alba has a reputation in Hollywood for being one of the biggest Cee yoU Next TuesdayS in town. And with a town like Hollywood, that says alot.

Apparently not only is Ms. Alba a bitch on wheels and delusional (at least as far as her current career prospects are concerned), she's also a fucking idiot.

Case in point. Ms. Alba is in Oklahoma City shooting a pic titled The Killer Inside Me. She apparently spent a day off running around the city, plastering shark posters everywhere. Because Ms. Alba is concerned about the dwindling Great White shark population.

While I don't knock anyone for their charitable and/or humanitarian activities (although who really gives a flying fuck about a big fish that would devour you in two seconds as an appetizer) I don't think the citizens of Oklahoma City spend their free time hitting the waters to massacre Great White sharks, or any type of shark. Seeing as how the state of Oklahoma is fairly well land locked and all.

To further eff up this gaffe, in her frenzy to save the Great White Ms. Alba covered up a billboard for the United Way, causing some United Way rep to bemoan the fact that the billboard will probably have to be replaced.

Send Jessica Alba the bill! She's such an important and successful serious actress. I'm sure she can pay for it. Of course that means she'll have to take away Cash's allowance for the week but I think the people at United Way will really appreciate it.

So . . . Jessica Alba issued an apology of sorts,claiming some type of gang mentality where she got all caught up in the moment when she associated with the Save the Great White group of activists. She also said that she should have used better judgment, which may be the most intelligent thing she has ever said.

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