July 24, 2009

So The Bitch Thinks She Can Dance

Photo Source: Celebitchy
So much for Katie Holmes' "Oscar worthy" performance. Even if you could pick up one of the gold statuettes for television work, I don't think Ms. Holmes would find herself on the ballot.

Anyunderwhelminglytalentedhoway, Katie inexplicably "performed" on So You Think You Can Dance last night. I say "performed" because it wasn't live, which kind of goes against the premise of SYTYCD, doesn't it? Wouldn't that be like sending over Adam Fucking Lambert's studio recording on Idol performance night? With the obvious, glaring exception that Adam Fucking Lambert can actually sing.

So Tommy's little robot did some music video ripoff - - she appears in a 1930s style car, then gets out and then walks around some set designed to look like a deserted street - - or the opening night of Mission Impossible IV. Girlfriend walks around and then is escorted onto a sound stage where she "performs" Judy Garland's "Get Happy".

And did Katie ever give a performance! She . . . uh . . . she kicked! She twirled! She kicked! She sashayed! She smirked! And yes, she lip synced because apparently kicking and smirking takes a lot out of a girl.

I don't know, I'm still waiting for the actual performance to start. Was this supposed to kickstart her career? Because I think it's going to kickstart her right in her Scientological ass. And since when does sounding like Minnie Mouse locked in a helium factory on a month long bender considered singing? (Thanks to Jazzbo over at Free Katie for the suggestion that Katie sounds like Minnie Mouse).

Can we please send Katie off to Lifetime movies and be done with it?

1 comment:

Sarbear said...

Katie disappoints me -- she's gotten so weird and less talented since the Tom Cruise stuff...