You know, I thought last week's group was fairly dull and replete with wrong song choices. Compared to last night's episode, last week's contestants were on fire. And I say that with heaping sarcasm.
Just to shake things up a bit, I suppose, the judges have completely rearranged their order over in their Table of Righteousness. Randy is now on the far left, as opposed to Simon, Kara is to his left, then Paula and then Simon. Ryan makes some stupid remark about Simon needing better lighting (uh, he's not the only one, Seacrest), Kara says that song choice is important (duh), Paula echoes Kara, Randy says something of absolutely no consequence and Simon has absolutely no advice for the contestants because it's a little too freaking late for that.
With that, we're ready to go!
Unfortunately for her, because the first spot is usually the spot of slow, painful death, Jasmine is going to lead off the show. I like Jasmine, I really do. She's a very pretty girl, she seems nice and she sounded fantastic during her auditions and Hollywood week. She caused Bikini Girl to become roadkill and I will always be thankful for that. Too bad that she picked a very meh song - - "Love Song". She doesn't sound terrible but when you have the First Spot of Death you need to bring it in a blaze of glory (quoting Jon Bon Jovi) or you're sent packing. Randy starts off the judging by giving a shout out to Jasmine's home state of Mississippi, so you know this isn't going to be good for Jasmine. He thinks she was pitchy and maybe the song wasn't the best choice. Kara mourns the fact that Jasmine is so darn commercial (i.e., she photographs well and is good looking) but just didn't bring her A game tonight. Paula agrees with Kara (again) and tells Jasmine that she had good intentions of making "Love Song" her own but it caused her to go off pitch. Simon is disappointed because as good as Jasmine looks, she simply doesn't have the great voice to match. Simon is roundly booed by the audience. He doesn't understand why he repeats what RaKaPa have already stated and he gets booed and they don't. We love to hate you, Simon! Seacrest annoyingly asks Randy if Jasmine deserves a spot and Randy says "commercial". Does he mean Jasmine is commercial or is he trying to tell the director to go to commercial, pronto? Regardless, I don't believe we'll see Jasmine again in this competition.
Matt the Piano Dueler is up next. I remember his audition and I remember him from Hollywood Week because he gave a total badass performance of Ray Charles' "Georgia". Tonight, however, he tells us he's going to be singing Coldplay's "Viva La Vida". I'm curious to see what he can do with this because I'm one of the few people probably remaining that would admit to a healthy liking of Coldplay. Matt, however, is going to attempt to inject some soul into Coldplay. Should be interesting. It's actually pretty good and he has a really strong voice. He doesn't sound as good as he did during Hollywood Week but comparing Ray Charles to Coldplay is like . . . comparing Ray Charles to Coldplay. Kara is the first judge to crush Matt the Piano Dueler. She tells him his Coldplay Soul experiment blatantly failed. Paula misses Matt's piano and in her Vicodin/Vodka induced haze tells Matt that she thought his live performance was much better than his rehearsal. A ha! We always knew the judges listened to their rehearsals and based their reviews on that. Simon thought Matt's performance was horrible and the song choice did him in - - he should stick to his blues/soul roots. Randy tries to pacify the situation a bit by telling Matt that he is a much better artist than Chris Martin because Chris Martin couldn't sing Ray Charles if his life depended on it and Seacrest gives a faint little fan bleet to Chris Martin.
Someone named Jeanine is up next and I swear, I do not remember this girl at all. That cannot bode well for her. She tells us she is going to sing "This Love" by Maroon 5 because it's one of her favorite bands. So . . . Jeanine's performance is predictably bad. Karaoke level bad not Amanda Overmyer doing a hatchet job on Kansas bad. Paula is voted to start the critique of Jeanine and the first thing out of Paula's mouth is how hot Jeanine's legs are in her short shorts. Oi vey. If "I Heart Everyone!" Paula can only compliment you on your physical appearance during a singing competition, you're in deep, deep trouble. She also then inexplicably says "it's Season Eight". Well, that's inexplicable to us but to Paula and the Care Bears that come visit her it probably makes perfect sense as to how that's relative to critiquing Jeanine's performance. Simon says the performance was absolutely terrible although Jeanine does indeed have good legs. Randy agrees on the legs and sadly says that his favorite part was the end because it meant the song was over. Kara gamely tries to review Jeanine's performance but between Randy's interruptions and Simon's comments about Jeanine's lips, she's on a rapidly sinking ship. Yes, we know the producers didn't show you AT ALL during the auditions and Hollywood Week and that totally sucks but this is American Idol and the producers and judges have already decided on their favorites and you are simply fodder, Jeanine.
Nick Mitchell aka Norman Gentle is up next and this makes the entire night of brain numbing banter and "singing" worthwhile. Nick as Nick tells us that Simon's hatred for him is like a child having his lunch stolen. Nick as Norman will be performing "And I'm Telling You" with his contractually required shiny shirt, khaki golf shorts and a headband and wristband that he swiped from Olivia Newton-John's dressing room in 1981. Nick as Norman's performance is pure gold. It is the most energetic, exciting performance so far, certainly the most engaging, and Nick as Norman even fondles the American Idol logo sign before dropping to his knees on the stage and falling over. I can't forget the shoutout to Neil Patrick Harris ("Doogie!") in the front row. Simon, as expected, finds that Nick as Norman or Nick as Nick gives him a headache. He fervently hopes that America in all its wisdom will choose to vote Nick as Norman or Nick as Nick off the show. I find that just more than a bit hypocritical since Nick as Norman and Nick as Nick is on the stage precisely because the judges, including Simon, chose to put him through. Simon believes Nick as Norman to be a horrific comedy act and in one of the best comebacks ever, Nick as Norman tells Simon "It takes one to know one, Sassy Pants!" You just know Seacrest is seething with jealousy over that line . . . and more than just a little bit fascinated. Randy found Nick as Norman entertaining and funny, Dawg, and Kara is in agreement. She states the obvious - - Nick as Norman is definitely memorable. Paula, too, finds him about as fun as a barrel of monkeys, which really is the only thing obviously missing from Nick as Norman's stage act.
So redheaded Allison is up next and she's ONLY SIXTEEN! Ryan does some talk thing with her in that reddish room off to the side of the stage but thank God for DVRs so I don't have to listen to some crap I could give a rat's ass about. I do stop fast forwarding long enough to hear Allison say she's performing Heart's "Alone". Really? Wasn't this one of "those songs" that the judges say should be off limits because Carrie Underwood blew everyone away with it? Do these people never learn? So she comes out and starts singing . . . and maybe I've been hit with tone deaf stick because I don't get it. I mean, her voice is okay. It sounds strangely like Velma, one of Marge Simpson's sisters. You know, the gravely 2 pack a day, weary of life voice which is strangeness in itself coming from someone who is ONLY SIXTEEN! I just think the choice of song is bad. Would Janis Joplin have sung this song? No! Would Nancy Wilson have sung it after a three day bender? Well, maybe in concert but not to record it. Anyhow, I fully expect for the judges to take Allison to task on her song choice but instead, they are worshipping at the Temple of Allison. What?? This is all strangely reminiscent to me of the judges wetting themselves in sheer amazement over the sounds of a mad Irish cow stomping around their stage and shouting at them. Whatever. It's obvious that Allison is one of their favorites and she could have run out on stage and sung the Lucky Charms jingle and Randy would have declared that some mad singing out of the box.
Kris Allen is up next and I truthfully do not understand why he was not showcased more during Hollywood Week because he is cute and sexy hot in a guy next door kind of way. Kris says that since the judges felt he didn't show a lot of confidence, he will be singing "Man in the Mirror". I suppose if you equate strange man-child with cosmetic surgery addiction and possible molestation addiction to "confidence" that all makes perfect sense. Not that I care really because Kris Allen can just stand there and look good and I'll vote him through. I'm really that shallow. Although I am not a big fan of the song, Kris does sound good. His voice is controlled and he doesn't seem to hit a bum note. Which means the judges will probably crucify him. Kara tells Kris that his song choice sucked balls and really didn't do much to showcase him. Not that we would know since they haven't really shown us what the guy can do. Paula disagrees and thinks Kris did wonderful things with the song. Surprise of all surprises, Simon agrees with Paula! He also thinks Kris did a good job and surprised the judges not only with his song choice but his confidence. Paula is so surprised (read: stoned/drunk/high) that she slaps a wet one on Simon. Simon does quantify that while Kris isn't the best singer - - according to Simon, Danny Gokey gets that honor - - he is pretty commercial. And commercially pretty.
Megan Corkrey is up next and I remember her audition but it seems like it was sooooo loooooong ago since we saw next to nothing of her during Hollywood Week. She will be singing "Get Your Records On", a song I will horrifyingly and forever associate with Antonella Barba. It's "a-ight, dawg" as Randy would say. Megan does sound strangely like redheaded Allison - - if she'd been on a 3 day bender. I still find her right arm tattoo disturbing and distracting. I also don't understand the weird spasms she's having while singing. Is it her white man's version of dancing? Or is the Puppet Master fucking with her? Paula compliments Megan on her choice of song as well as the delivery. In case the viewing audience isn't clear, Paula hearts Megan and says so. Simon thinks Megan is a "funny little thing" and thinks the first half of the song is better than the second. Kara says that Megan is a package artist, whatever that truly means.
Matt Breitzke is up next and I really like him. He's very "real", whatever that means. And yes, I'm quoting myself. He is singing "If You Could Only See" because the song is about love, which is pretty cool. Vocally, it's absolutely perfect. No pitch problems, no range problems. Matt may not be the most exciting performer and he is lacking in presence, but wasn't Cookie at this point last year? The judges, as predictable as always, berate Matt for song choice. Simon hates the song and is frustrated by Matt's choice. Matt disagrees with Simon, although he thanks him for his opinion, and you have to love someone who can stand up to Simon. Randy thought the performance was pretty boring. Kara is disappointed and Paula agrees. I really don't understand these judges. Even they admit that Matt technically was amazing - - great voice, great delivery, nothing wrong there. They don't think the song was the best though. Couldn't they have said the same about Allison? Her voice wasn't bad but I thought the song choice was horrendous. Yet they loved her and they are disappointed in Matt? I hope Matt goes through.
Next up is Jesse Langseth, another person who seems to have just wandered in off the street. And yet another single mom. This is the year of the single mom at Idol, is it not? So Jesse is going to be singing "Bette Davis Eyes", a song she thinks is one of the best ever written. Questioning that aside, her performance isn't bad. Strangely enough, she too has a smoky, gravely voice like Allison and like Megan. Randy thinks she was cool, but finds that sad. Jesse doesn't understand and asks him to elaborate on what exactly he wants from her. Because Randy pulled his usual "outside the box" commentary. He tells her to stretch her range which I find totally confusing because I didn't think "Bette Davis Eyes" had all that much range to it. Kara tells Jesse she's really digging her Flashdance inspired flashback sweater (remember the off the shoulder sweaters?) and says her range was good. Take that, Randy! Paula says that Jesse is "captivating" and memorable. Simon questions how memorable Jesse is and says she's too cool for school. Um, okay.
Kai Kalama is up next and I really liked him during auditions. He sounded good and I loved the fact that he wanted to win to help his ill mother. I'm a sap, what can I say? Kai will be singing "What Becomes of the Brokenhearted" and I'm sappy enough to probably like it. Kara likes his commitment to his performance but mentions pitch problems. Paula agrees with the pitch issues but thinks Kai is a great little performer. Simon believes it's like a wedding or hotel performance. Which isn't always bad, truthfully. Randy thinks Kai was playing it safe. Maybe too safe.
Mishavonna Henson, besides having a truly unfortunate name that cannot possibly be preprinted on pencils, keyrings, lunchbags or barrettes or anything cool like that, is another one of those Idolizers that I have not seen previously and must assume is in the competition only to be pink slipped early in the competition. She sings "Drops of Jupiter", one of those songs I have heard before but can't tell you who sings it and I don't care enough to go and find out. She doesn't do a bad job and refreshingly, she doesn't sound like the Marlboro Pack of Allison, Megan and Jesse. It's definitely a serious performance and intense. The judges, quite naturally, find Mishavonna too intense and serious. She's ONLY EIGHTEEN! and she's acting like she's fifty. Well, I suppose how a fifty-year old Mick Jagger would act because the only other fifty year old female rocker I can think of is Madonna and she would be humping the stage by now. Oh wait, is Joan Jett fifty? Because Joan Jett is intense and serious and wears black leather and Mishavonna is probably totally like Joan Jett was at eighteen. But I digress. Kara wants Mishavonna to lighten up beause Kara wonders exactly where Mishavonna fits in the music industry. Yeah, there's a few people in the music industry I have wondered about myself and it ain't Mishavonna. Randy shouts some inane nonsense about how Mishavonna made a solo song out of a band song. What the fuck? Did someone forget Randy's medication? Last time I checked Heart was a band and no one has gotten called out yet making "Alone" into a solo. Shut up, Randy. For real. Before she's hustled off the stage, Mishavonna stresses that she can be totally crazy in a bizarre attempt to garner the Tatiana vote. Interesting.
Adam Lambert has the pimp spot, thereby insuring that he will return. Adam is going to be less theatrical (no!) and has chosen a song by his mom's favorite band, the Rolling Stones. It's "Satisfaction" and I'm wondering if Randy is going to crucify Adam for making "Satisfaction" into a solo artist song. What an idiot Randy is. So Adam is decked out in black and starts "Satisfaction" kind of slow and maybe a little worrisome and then rocks it out in an Adam Lambert kind of way. He's prancing and he's preening and he's doing the eyefucking thing and I'm finding this all strangely attractive and addicting and I'm not quite sure why because when I honestly and truly think about it, Adam's hair reminds me of a Monchici after you've brushed it down nice and neat. Not that I mean that as an insult to Adam because I do like him and again, he's strangely addictive. Like the Edward Fucking Cullen of the stage. The only thing he is missing is the sparkle. So the audience is going crazy for Adam doing Mick Jagger as Edward Fucking Cullen because Mick Jagger only got laid so much because he was a rock singer and not because he looked like a byproduct of Claymation. Paula jumps out of her seat and says she has no words but quite naturally then finds a few and says she feels as though she was at an Adam Lambert concert. Simon found his performance crazy, but in a good way. Randy thinks Adam is Steven Tyler meets Fall Out Boy meets Robert Pattinson. Totally. I think this is the most intelligent thing Randy has uttered all night, if not in the last eight seasons. Upon hearing Robert Pattinson's name, Seacrest comes skipping out on stage and squees in glee over the iconic vampire. Seacrest is agape that Randy compared Adam Lambert to Edward Fucking Cullen and Adam is all "I know, right? Twilight is my favorite book!" Which is cool and all because I'm totally on the Edward Fucking Cullen love train but I'm having images of Randy, Seacrest and Adam in their jammie at a slumber party, squealing over Twilight and Edward Fucking Cullen.
So, in all, I found this a very strange episode. It seemed to go on forever. I think Adam Lambert has as much a chance of being cut as Tom Cruise does getting laid at a nymphomaniac convention. So he should pretty much wrap up the male vote (Adam, that is, not the Mighty Midget). Allison, in all likelihood, will get the female vote despite growling and hacking out one of my favorite Heart songs.
Who gets the coveted third spot? Nick Marshall as Norman Gentle is Vote for the Worst's pick. So it could certainly be him. Matt Breitzke is very likable and his performance was vastly underrated by the judges. Kris Allen turned in a good performance and brings the sexy pretty.
I guess we'll have to wait until tonight and suffer through 45 minutes of nonsense to get to the results.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
American Idol: Group Two . . . Wrong Song Choices and Adam Lambert
Friday, February 20, 2009
Fatal Vision: My Journey from Probably Guilty to Possibly Innocent to Absolutely Guilty
Colette, Kimberley and Kristen MacDonald in 1967
Both are about the 1970 slayings of Green Beret doctor Jeffrey MacDonald's pregnant wife, Colette, and their two daughters, Kimberley and Kristen, at Fort Bragg. The murders made big news back in 1970 because they happened only six months or so after the Manson Family murders and they seemed very similar, at least in brutality and the fact that both Colette MacDonald and Sharon Tate were pregnant at the time of their deaths.
The book and miniseries both came to the conclusion that MacDonald was guilty of butchering his family. After seeing the miniseries I believed that he was probably guilty; after reading the book, I felt he was probably still guilty but something about the case didn't sit right with me.
That feeling lasted a handful of years, during which I re-read Fatal Vision many times, also read Janet Malcolm's The Journalist and the Murderer, which suggested that Fatal Vision author Joe McGinniss may have betrayed MacDonald and read Fatal Justice, which claimed to tell the entire story about what happened at Fort Bragg inside the MacDonald residence, complete with many examples of the government's misconduct and MacDonald's innocence.
Based solely on Fatal Justice, and my earlier feelings of unease about what I learned from Fatal Vision, I began to feel that MacDonald could be innocent of the horrible crimes he was convicted of in 1979 (and sentenced to three life terms) and, at the very least, did not get a fair trial.
During that time there was also a program called False Witness that supported MacDonald's account of that terrible evening back in 1970 and it seemed as though he was gaining more supporters and getting closer to a new trial and possibly freedom. I honestly began to believe this was a man who had suffered one of the worst injustices imaginable . . . convicted of a crime you did not commit.
About two months ago, I found a website hosted by Christina Masewicz, who had attended the 1979 murder trial where MacDonald was convicted. She had been interested in the case since 1970. She had posted copies of all the legal documents on her website, and she had written a lengthy book about the case, from 1970 until recently. She too had believed MacDonald innocent of the crimes, until she began reading the many documents connected to the case and the transcript of MacDonald's testimony during his Article 32 hearing, mere months after the murders.
Reading these documents myself on her website and in her book, my opinions toward the crime and, in particularly, MacDonald radically changed.
For example, MacDonald went on The Dick Cavett Show in December of 1970, ostensibly to ask the public for help in solving the murders. It had not yet been a year since his family had been demolished. He spent the majority of his time on air not talking about his loved ones and the terrible acts committed upon them, but about the injustices he had been forced to endure, complete with barbs and criticisms of the Army and making jokes about the Army. Truman Capote, who was in attendance that night, proclaimed him guilty of committing the murders himself. Dick Cavett later said that MacDonald's affect was all wrong.
When the crime scene was processed originally, investigators found a large urine stain on the bottom sheet of the master bedroom bed, which was determined to match the blood type of Kimberley, MacDonald's oldest daughter. MacDonald, however, insisted that it was Kristen that was in bed with his wife that night, forcing MacDonald to sleep on the couch. Even when confronted with the blood typing evidence, showing it was impossible that the fresh urine stain was made by Kristen, he continued to insist it was his youngest daughter. Why lie over something that seems, on its face, relatively minor? Perhaps because that fact isn't so minor . . . perhaps Kimberley being in that bedroom, or wetting that bed, is what started the fatal argument with his wife that night.
I have seen the autopsy reports and pictures from the autopsies, as well as crime scene photos. It was a horrifically bloody scene and all three family members were terribly brutalized. Colette had been bludgeoned so badly she was unrecognizable. Both of her arms were broken, one was broken in two places and she had suffered stab wounds to her chest and upper body from both a knife and an icepick. Kimberley had been beaten so badly about the head and face that bone actually protruded from her face and brain matter was found in the doorway to the master bedroom, where she was initially struck with a club. As she lay dying, or so near to death it was of little matter, she was stabbed 8-10 times in the neck with a knife. Kristen suffered more than 30 stab wounds to her upper torso and back, made by a knife and icepick. One of her fingers had a through-and-through slice where she had held her hand up, in an attempt to defend herself. Jeffrey MacDonald had a contusion (raised bump) on his forehead - - with no broken skin - - a cut or abrasion on his upper chest and an incision to his chest, which necessitated a pneumothorax. Which of these is not like the other?
MacDonald's head "wound" didn't even require a Band-Aid. His 5 year old daughter had brain matter left on the floor. His wife had her skin torn down to her skull. MacDonald's chest wound that required the medical attention was a single wound, a clean incision. Colette, Kimberley and Kristen all suffered multiple stab wounds. Kristen was only 2 years old and sustained more than 30 stab wounds.
Colette had initially been attacked in the master bedroom, had been rendered unconscious by one or two blows to the head by the club, but had then regained consciousness and had gone to Kristen's room, in an attempt to protect her, where she endured a horrendous beating.
MacDonald has always claimed that a band of hippie intruders broke in his house that night and slaughtered his family. If such people had been present and if such people would absolutely destroy small children - - who could not have identified them - - and if such people would bludgeon a woman 5 months pregnant in front of or over the body of her 2 year old daughter, why would they leave Jeffrey MacDonald with only a slight bump on his forehead? MacDonald claims that he was knocked unconscious from this blow. Why not finish him off? Why mutilate children but leave behind the sole person who can identify you? And how is it that Colette could have endured such a horrible beating and yet was still able to attempt to protect her family, while MacDonald, who claimed he only wanted to protect his family, went down with a relatively small blow?
MacDonald also claimed that he awoke on the living room sofa to Colette's and Kimberley's screams, to find himself confronted by four intruders, armed with at least one knife, an icepick and a club. Colette and Kimberley were both attacked with these weapons. If these weapons were in the living room, along with the intruders, who were they screaming at? Kimberley's injury from the club was so severe, she would not have been able to scream; it would have been so massive that she would have slipped into an immediate coma and death shortly thereafter. Further, if Colette and Kimberley had already been attacked, why was none of their blood found in the living room?
For these reasons, I have come to believe that Jeffrey MacDonald is indeed guilty of murdering his family. Such a revelation has left me feeling saddened for Colette, Kimberley and Kristen and angry with MacDonald. He had so much and he destroyed it. Colette, Kimberley and Kristen had so much to live for and they lost it.
They are the real victims in this case. Not Jeffrey MacDonald, who even 39 years after the crime, continues to insist he's a victim.
Jeffrey MacDonald is right where he should be. In a federal penitentiary.
American Idol: Group One . . . Bad Song Choices, a Subdued Tatiana and Danny Gokey
Season 8 of American Idol has now officially begun. It's 2 hours and it's live and Ryan is all jazzed about that, as if he's never gone on t.v. live before. He does his usual shtick with the judges and particularly with Simon and it's just as annoying as ever. Randy is a big bag of blah. Kara is all nervous. Paula is somewhere over the rainbow. Simon is bitchy. I love this show.
The set up is a little different this year. Instead of the bottom 2 vote getters getting shown the door, the top male, top female and the next top vote getter will be getting through. The rest of the contestants will be shown the door, unless they are granted one of the 3 wildcard spots the judges will be able to use.
Group sing. Does anyone care? I don't. Thank God for DVR and fast forward.
So Jackie Tohn is up first and I can pretty much guarantee before she even opens her mouth that she had better be praying for that wildcard spot because being the lead-off batter sucks. She is singing "A Little Less Conversation" - - and seeing as how basically annoying I found her during auditions, there might be a hidden meaning in this song title, Jackie. So she's apparently stolen Olivia Newton-John's black leather pants from the final scenes of Grease and she's added a hideous red or fuchsia belt to them and white high tops. I just report it, people.
She's all over the stage and very, very energetic. I imagine this is what Paula would be like if she switched her Vicodin for speed. Speaking of Paula, she is up and dancing to Jackie's performance. But remember, Paula is the woman who last season reported on Jason Castro's performance before Jason actually performed.
Randy praises Jackie on being energetic but says the singing itself wasn't really there. In case you didn't know, that's Randy code for "you sucked". Kara pretty much says what Randy tried to say - - Jackie is energetic but it probably isn't going to save her ass. Paula praised Jackie because, after a few Vicodin with a vodka chaser, Sanjaya would sound hot. Simon berates Jackie for playing the clown.
Next up is one of those mystery contestants that we really didn't see much of at all. This guy is named Ricky Braddy but I really want to call him Ricky Bobby. Ricky Bobby is fresh off a job serving chicken fingers and finding that perfect cardigan sweater. He is singing a song called "Song for You" and he's actually very, very good. He can definitely sing but Simon knocks him down a few dozen pegs by telling him he has absolutely no star quality. The other judges, however, absolutely loved him so it's anybody's guess at this point as to whether or not Ricky Bobby will live to see another day.
Alexis Grace is up next and after the judges told her to "dirty" herself up during the audition process, she has gone and added pink streaks to her hair. She is cute as all get out though and we are informed she is going to sing "Never Loved a Man" by Aretha. (If you've watched Idol long enough, you know that some people do not ever need last names. Aretha is one of them.) Girlfriend does an amazing job with this song - - because Aretha is never easy, you know. For such a tiny little girl she has a big voice in there. The judges are falling all over themselves to worship at the temple of Alexis Grace. Kara tells her the genie is out of the bottle - - hope that's not a sign that Miss Alexis peaked too early. Paula calls attention to the fact that Alexis is ONLY TWENTY! but Alexis corrects her and points out that she turned twenty-one. Simon gives her a backhanded compliment by telling her she's the best of the evening, but they have only heard 3 people at this point. Hmmm . . . Simon giveth and Simon taketh away. Such is Idol. He does compare her to Kelly Clarkson though and label her a "dark horse" of the competition.
Hey, there's Doogie Houser! And Ted Danson!
Brent Keith is up next and I vaguely remember him. He's going to be singing "Hicktown". As I don't care for country music in the slightest, his performance doesn't do much for me. Randy makes some weird comment about Brent performing at a chili cookoff, with Randy and Simon present and Simon is predictably and understandably confused as to what exactly a chili cookoff has to do with anything. That Randy! Simon, quite naturally, doesn't care for Brent's performance and disses him by labeling his performance "safe" and "boring". Seacrest, however, sticks up for Brent Keith and shows a little snotface to Simon by stating that country music fans won't find Brent boring or forgettable. I suppose we shall see.
Stevie Wright is up next and while I really liked her during her auditions, I absolutely detest what she's doing now. She's singing a Taylor Swift song that I don't know and that certainly does herself no justice. I suppose the judges told her she needs to sound more like her 16 or 17 year old self, and step back from Etta James' "At Last" (which I love, by the way, whether you're 17 or 70) but now she just sounds like a giddy teen doing karaoke. She is still smiley and basically adorable though, even as Randy proclaims her performance the worst of the night. (Note to Randy . . . you just wait). Kara and Paula basically try to soften the blow of breaking the bad news to Stevie, while Simon tells her flat out she sucked. I'm definitely feeling worried for Stevie Wright.
Anoop ("Anoop Dawg") is up next and I have to say, he is pretty much my favorite regardless of what he sings. Anyone who can proudly admit they wrote a thesis on the evolution of barbecue is okay in my book. Anoop is singing Monica's "Angel of Mine" and it's a departure from the Anoop we're used to, but a blazing hot departure, in my opinion. Anoop may look a wee bit uncomfortable up there but his voice sounds good. Anoop is the man. Randy reminds America that Anoop is Anoop Dawg and then says the performance was sharp. Kara wonders if it was a good song choice for him, that maybe he didn't have the depth for it or something like that. Paula tells us how much we love Anoop and compares him to Bryan McKnight. Simon wants to know why Anoop chose that song (it was the first R&B song Anoop really liked) and declares it too "old" for Anoop.
Casey Carlson is up next and she is tackling the Police's "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic". However, she has changed the "she" to a "he" and completely jacked up the arrangement. Seriously, this version gives "hideous" a new meaning. Girlfriend sounds worse than amateur karaoke night and she's winking and gesturing horribly on top of that. Randy calls her performance some sort of weird karaoke. Kara declares the Police iconic (who knew?) and basically said Casey should not have touched that song. Paula tells her that she's a pretty girl that appeals to all the males - - which you know is a kiss of death coming from Paula. I believe Haley Scarnato heard this too before she was pink slipped. Simon tells Casey she was atrocious and that she should never have been allowed to sing that song. All in all, Casey looks screwed.
Michael Sarver is up next and he is going to sing some Gavin DeGraw song I don't know. But Michael sings earnestly and you just can't help but like him, even if he's not the best performer out there. Randy didn't really appreciate the song and thinks Michael should return to soulful roots. Kara thinks the song was a crowd pleasure but doesn't think it shows Michael at his best. Paula was freaked out by how many times Michael shifted the microphone between his hands. Simon actually gives Michael a bunch of compliments, between stating that he likes Michael and he hopes America will like Michael and push him through. Very un-Simon like.
Ann Marie Boskovich is next and she sings "Natural Woman" and does it very well, indeed. Ted Danson even gives her a standing O. Randy, however, complains about the song choice and says some crap about not knowing who she is as an artist (unlike Casey Carlson, I suppose). Kara applauds Ann Marie for coming out of her shell but didn't like the song choice either. Paula thinks A-M is courageous. Simon says that A-M sounds like a hotel singer and her voice wasn't nearly good enough for the song.
Here is Stephen Fowler. If you don't remember, he's the dude who forgot his lyrics twice during Hollywood week but still managed to get through because Simon's rule of "forget the lyrics and you're out" was total bullshit. Stephen is singing "Rock with You" and can I just say right now that if the Police's "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" is off-limits, Michael Jackson's entire catalog should be. The song is just kind of there, and Stephen's voice is okay but the song really didn't do it any favors. Randy hated it and hated the song choice. Theme of the night! Kara thought he was better when he forgot the lyrics because he actually had an emotional connection with the song. How the hell are you supposed to have an emotional connection with "Rock with You"? Paula thinks Stephen should have sang the Cookie song Stephen forgot the lyrics too, as it would have shown the judges and America why Stephen was given the pass. I think this is the first time tonight Paula has made sense. She also says this song is the kiss of death because only Michael Jackson should do it. Simon, predictably, knifes Stephen and says the last ten seconds were decent but the rest blew.
Tatiana Del Taco is up next and she will be singing Whitney Houston's "Saving All My Love for You". Oh shit. Kill me now. This might be a good time for the audio to inexplicably go out on my t.v. But of course that doesn't happen because that only happens during one of my favorite shows, when something very important is being revealed. So back to Tatiana. Who actually can singing this effing song! I am floored . . . not only because she can sing but that she also chose a song by an artist that has been repeatedly proclaimed "off limits" for most Idols. It really isn't fair that such a lunatic can sing so well . . . although Tatiana is unsettlingly calm tonight. Randy is amazed, as well, that Tatiana can sing although he will only give her that she had "moments". Wow, he really doesn't like her. Kara thinks Tatiana is a firecracker but is scared by her. She wants to know exactly who Tatiana is in the industry. Yet another ongoing theme. Tatiana thinks she's a personality and a celebrity and pretty soon her head may be bigger than Simon's. Paula states the obvious, which is that Tatiana is very talked about but she, like Kara, wants to know who Tatiana is. Simon says that Tatiana is a drama queen, much like Paula. Truer words were never spoken, Mr. Cowell.
Danny Gokey gets the pimp spot and if you don't think Idol wants him to make the top five, at least, you're sipping out of Paula's cup. He is singing Mariah Carey's "Hero", yet another ar-teest that usually deemed "off limits". Danny Gokey sings his heart out and all of us eat it up because we're hokey and easy to please like that. Best friend Jamar is in the front row looking as if he's about to cry. The judges lose their shit over Danny Gokey. Randy says something completely inexplicable about Danny being the diva or demon. Don't get it. Kara thanks him for the hope he gives us all. Paula says he was stellar but then reverts back to her usual Abdulisms by giving him two words with a hyphen in them - - sold out arenas. Simon says he was good, he's likable and has a good voice but he's not buying the same drug Randy, Kara and Paula are. Simon is such a buzzkill.
So with the greatness that is my DVR, I was able to watch the performance show and the results back to back. The results show was basically a waste of 45 minutes. The results could have been read in 15 minutes but Idol will find a way to stretch it to an hour. And that includes bringing back Hot Michael and Plant Carly from last season to sing a duet. Hey, Hot Michael has an album coming out in May!
The long and short of it, basically, is that 3 people are going through. The others are back home, unless the judges throw them a lifeline at some point. Casey is the first one called to the stage so you know she's history, even without her shitastic performance. Bye Casey. Stephen Fowler is next. Alexis Grace is next called and you just know she made it. As an added bonus, Alexis gets to sing her song again! Just so we know why we voted her through, I suppose. Jackie and Ricky Bobby come out and both are sent packing. Sad for Ricky Bobby, because he can actually sing and was totally shortchanged when the auditions were aired. Anoop and Michael Sarver come down together and Ryan tries to make it all nervewracking but only looks like a douche. He states that only one of these men will be moving on and . . . it's Michael! Holy shit! Anoop didn't make it? What the truck??? I'm sure even the judges are shocked at this point. Michael is giddy with happiness and sings his song again and he really is likable. I think any level of suspense is gone, since we all know that Danny Gokey made it. Ann Marie, Stevie and Brent stand up and are shot down together. That leaves Tatiana and Danny Gokey. Tatiana attempts to place her arm on Danny's as a sign of support and togetherness but Danny keeps his arms locked behind his back. Ouch. Still no real suspense. Tatiana sung well but she annoys the shit out of everyone. Danny sung well but he gives everyone hope, so of course he's in! Tatiana crumbles and Danny lets out a whoop - - no handshake or hug for Tatiana. Wow, she isn't liked at all, is she? He gets to sing his song again but a great deal of the camera is focused on Tatiana getting weepy and then basically losing her shit and bawling.
Is this the last time we will see Tatiana? Will Anoop Dawg get a wildcard? Will Ricky Bobby? Was Casey Carlson wearing a strange hairpiece?
Group 2 will feature Adam Lambert and Norman Gentle, among others. Stay tuned!
When Did the Left Lane Stop Being the "Fast" Lane?
Posted by Lori at Friday, February 20, 2009 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Left Lane; Driving; Slowpokes
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Remembering Colette, Kimberley and Kristen

It was 39 years ago today that three brilliant flames of life were extinguished.
Colette was a caring and devoted mother, a loving wife who only wished for a happy family life. Kimberley was a little lady who loved to read and draw. Kristen was a tough little tomboy, fearless and curious.
They were taken much too soon.
Each year on this day, I stop to remember them and I hope you will as well.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Kenseth Wins the Daytona 500!
Posted by Lori at Sunday, February 15, 2009 0 comments Links to this post
Psychotic Review: Taken
Posted by Lori at Sunday, February 15, 2009 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Taken; Liam Neeson; Maggie Grace; Famke Janssen; Movies
The Return of Cole Trickle
Hmmm . . any hope that officer is going to arrest the diminutive Mr. Cruise for assaulting us with Days of Thunder, Cocktail and Valkyrie?
Diane Downs: No Parole
Posted by Lori at Sunday, February 15, 2009 4 comments Links to this post
Labels: Diane Downs; Ann Rule; Small Sacrifices; Parole Denied
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Feedback
Anonymous wrote:
IN DEFENSE OF THE MANSON FAMILY MEMBERS: THE EVENTS OF THE PAST ARE JUST THAT:THE PAST. HAVE ANY OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THE MANSON FAMILY MURDER SCHEME BEEN INVOLVED IN PRISON RIOTS, ATTACKS ON THE GUARDS, HAVE ANY OF THEM BEEN FOUND CHANTING KILL, KILL KILL AROUND A PENTAGRAM ON THE FLOOR OF THEIR CELL? OR ANY TYPE OF ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIORS? NO, THEY HAVE NOT. WAKE UP!
***********************************************************************
Dear Anonymous:
I respect your right to an opinion; however, hasn't anyone told you about the ALL CAPS rule? That's like shouting online. You don't need to shout. I can read perfectly fine in normal type.
I find you very interesting. Why? Well, besides the fact that you read my blog, you start your comment "In defense of the Manson Family". Who does that? Do you honestly want to defend a group of vagabonds who delighted in butchering human beings? One of that group, Susan Atkins herself, stated that she experienced a sexual orgasm while stabbing and the more you did it, the more fun it was. According to the late Colonel Paul Tate (Sharon Tate's father), while his daughter's last moments were being described to the court, Atkins was snickering, giggling and laughing. I don't know that I would want to be defending anyone like that.
And yes, the murders happened in the past. Nearly 40 years, to be exact. But I will venture to guess that if you spoke to any relatives or loved ones of the victims their pain will still be evident. The passage of time doesn't lessen the brutality of what was done.
Frankly, Anonymous, I have no idea what is or has been painted on the floor of the killers' cells, pentagrams or not - - which is irrelevant. Satanism had nothing to do with the crimes. A flagrant disrespect for life and an innate lack of conscience and wrong had everything to do with the crimes. I'm sure Ted Bundy, the Green River Killer, John Wayne Gacy, et al. did not have pentagrams in their jail cells, nor did they sit around chanting but that didn't lessen what they did, nor did it justify any type of early release. They were imprisoned (and in some cases, executed), exactly as they should have been per the justice system. And exactly as the Manson Family murderers have been.
For the record, Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme attempted to assassinate President Gerald Ford in 1975, supposedly on orders from Manson. I would consider that antisocial behavior. Sandra Good, another Manson Family member, not only threatened to kill people responsible for "killing trees" but sent threatening letters to executives, which later earned her a prison term. I would think that considering killing trees evil but murdering human beings acceptable is a fairly accurate sign of antisocial behavior.
Regardless, I believe that whether or not Atkins or any other member of the Manson Family has found God, become a better person, even been a model prisoner, they owe a debt to society for the crimes they committed - - that debt being their life in prison.
I think Manson Family member Patricia Krenwinkel best states my point. Krenwinkel, who personally took part in both murder nights, told Diane Sawyer in 1994 "I wake up every day knowing that I'm a destroyer of the most precious thing, which is life; and I do that because that's what I deserve, is to wake up every morning and know that."
American Idol: Joanna Pacitti this season's Carly Smithson?
Posted by Lori at Thursday, February 12, 2009 1 comments Links to this post
Labels: American Idol; Joanna Pacitti; Carly Smithson; Sheningans
Monday, February 9, 2009
When Did the Public School System Become Taxpayer Funded Daycare?
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Shame on Texas
Friday, February 6, 2009
Spotlight On: Author Brandon Massey
One of the things I liked best about Massey's book was that his hero, Andrew Wilson, wasn't a moron. Sounds ridiculous, but think of how many mystery/suspense/thriller books you've read where the hero or heroine does something completely banal and idiotic in order to advance the plot or inject some thrills or chills. An example would be a town that is currently under siege by a serial killer and our genius hero/heroine decides to go for a walk, alone, late at night, in precisely the area where the victims are being plucked, to think. I cannot tell you how many times I have read instances like this, and in books by well-known and respected authors. These type of things just boggle my mind. No one with an ounce of common sense would do something like that and it can very nearly ruin the book for me. Posted by Lori at Friday, February 06, 2009 0 comments Links to this post
An Open Letter to TLC and Any Other Companies Who Want to Pay Nadya Suleman
Dear TLC and/or any other company or entity who wishes to pay Nadya Suleman for her selfishness and stupidity:
I realize that our society has gotten incredibly self-centered and materialistic over the last few decades but have we really come to this?
It's frustrating enough when our government will "reward" the population with increases in amounts of welfare or other government/state assistance dependent upon the number of children in the household but now we are going to make a "celebrity" of a 33 year old single woman, already a mother to six children under the age of eight, who knowingly and willfully allowed herself to be impregnated with eight embryos, all of whom survived and were born last month.
What has this woman done to warrant a reality show, endorsements and financial gifts? If she is currently on government assistance, she has drained the State of California for her existing six children, nevermind the eight she just had. And if she has indeed been living off the generous support of the taxpayers of the State of California, who exactly funded her in-vitro fertilization? And what medical professional would agree to a single woman with six children, who is living off government assistance, being implanted with one embryo, much less eight?
Please do not reward this woman for her selfish, self-serving and unbalanced behavior. By doing so you will be sending the message out to all young girls and women everywhere that they too can become famous, celebrated and wealthy by merely bringing children into the world.
In short, Nadya Suleman needs a mental health professional, not a reality show.
Update on Susan Atkins
Posted by Lori at Friday, February 06, 2009 30 comments Links to this post
Labels: Susan Atkins; Charles Manson; Sharon Tate; Celebrity Justice
Do the Hudson River Crash Survivors Deserve Compensation?
Posted by Lori at Friday, February 06, 2009 0 comments Links to this post
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The First Family of Fakery is in Brazil
Who Peed in Stephen King's Wheaties?
Image: www.stephenking999.com
Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. … The real
difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t
write worth a darn. She’s not very good.”
But then King recalls that when his mom was alive, she read all the Erle Stanley Gardner books, the Perry Mason mysteries, obsessively when he was growing up. “He was a terrible writer, too, but he was very successful,” King says. “Somebody who’s a terrific writer who’s been very, very successful is Jodi Picoult. You’ve got Dean Koontz, who can write like hell. And then sometimes he’s just awful. It varies. James Patterson is a terrible writer but he’s very very successful. People are attracted by the stories, by the pace and in the case of Stephenie Meyer, it’s very clear that she’s writing to a whole generation of girls and opening up kind of a safe
joining of love and sex in those books. It’s exciting and it’s thrilling and
it’s not particularly threatening because they’re not overtly sexual. A lot of
the physical side of it is conveyed in things like the vampire will touch her
forearm or run a hand over skin, and she just flushes all hot and cold. And for
girls, that’s a shorthand for all the feelings that they’re not ready to deal
with yet.”






























